Harry Jokes / Recent Jokes

Snoring Wife

Hot 6 years ago

When his wife's snoring woke him for the third straight night, Harry went to the bathroom medicine cabinet, got some aspirin and popped two tablets into her gaping mouth.
'Awk, glub!' choked his startled wife. 'What the...'
'It's okay, honey. I gave you some aspirin,' he explained.
'Why? I don't have a headache!'
'Great!' said Harry, triumphantly. 'Let's Make Love!'

Harry was telling his friend about his holiday in Switzerland. His friend had never been to Switzerland and asked,' what did you think of the scenery? '' Oh, I couldn't see much,' Harry admitted.' There were all these mountains in the way.'

Harry was telling his friend about his holiday in Switzerland. His friend had never been to Switzerland and asked, what did you think of the scenery? Oh, I couldnt see much, Harry admitted. There were all these mountains in the way.

Try Being Nicer

Hot 3 years ago

Every night after dinner, Harry took off for the local watering hole. He would spend the whole evening there and always arrive home well inebriated around midnight. He usually had trouble getting his key to fit in the keyhole and couldn't get the door open. And every time this happened, his wife would go to the door and let him in. Then she would proceed to yell and scream at him for his constant nights out and coming home in a drunken state. But Harry just continued his nightly routine.
One day, the wife was talking to a friend about her husband's behavior and was particularly distraught by it all.
Her friend said, "Why don't you treat him a little differently when he comes home? Instead of berating him, why don't you give him some loving words and welcome him home with a kiss? Then he might change his ways."
The wife thought this might be a good idea. That night, Harry took off again after dinner. At about midnight, he arrived home in his usual condition. more...

Wayne

Hot 2 years ago

Today, every Tom, Dick and Harry is called Wayne.
Harry was telling his friend about his holiday in Switzerland. His friend had never been to Switzerland and asked,' what did you think of the scenery? '
' Oh, I couldn't see much,' Harry admitted.' There were all these mountains in the way.'

Two salesmen were writing up their orders when the conversation came around to
last night's big date. "So, how'd it go, Harry?" asked Gil.
"Terrible," admitted Harry. "The moment we got back to her place the phone
started ringing. There must have been fifteen calls from guys wanting to ask her
out. It never stopped, and we never got started."
Gil tried to comfort him. "It could have been worse, Harry. After all, an
attractive young woman's allowed to have her number in the phone book, now isn't
she?"
"Yeah, but not in the Yellow Pages."

(do this in an australian acsent)
knock knock
whos there
harry
harry who
harry up blonde