Hardest Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A bear, a lion and a chicken sitting talking about who is the hardest. The bear says when I roar - the whole forest trembles, the lion says when I roar - the whole jungle shakes with fear, the chicken says all I have to do is cough and the whole fuckin world shits itself!!

    The hardest thing in life to learn is which bridge to cross and which to burn.

    Thoughts From Women About Being A Woman
    The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.
    * Helen Hayes (at 73)
    I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrow.
    * Janette Barber
    Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
    * Lily Tomlin
    A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.
    * Carrie Snow
    Old age ain't no place for sissies.
    * Bette Davis
    If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.
    * Catherine Aird
    A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.
    * Rhonda Hansome
    The phrase "working mother" is redundant.
    * Jane Sellman
    Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
    * Charlotte Whitton
    Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
    * Caryn more...

    Thoughts From Women About Being A WomanThe hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.* Helen Hayes (at 73)I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrow.* Janette BarberThings are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.* Lily TomlinA male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.* Carrie SnowOld age ain't no place for sissies.* Bette DavisIf you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.* Catherine AirdA man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.* Rhonda HansomeThe phrase "working mother" is redundant.* Jane SellmanWhatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.* Charlotte WhittonThirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.* Caryn LeschenWhoever thought up the word "Mammogram"? Every time I hear it, I think I'm supposed to put more...

    Three morticians were having a few drinks one night and started discussing their hardest cases. The first said I believe I had the hardest. I had a young man that ran into a tree, it took a week before I could show him.
    The second smiled, "That's nothing" he said. I had this couple that hit a train. It took two weeks before I could show them.
    The third grinned and said "You two didn't have anything, I had a woman who jumped off a ten story building. She landed on a fire hydrant. It took me three weeks to get the smile off her face.

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