Exhausted and overworked, Santa Claus has decided to convert to
Judaism to lessen his workload and decrease his stress.
Mr. Claus' first inkling that Judaism was his new intended path,
was when he was unloading one particularly heavy bag of gifts and
muttered "Oy Oy Oy!" instead of "Ho Ho Ho!" Santa took this as
divine inspiration and began some serious reflection on the matter.
Mr. Claus sat down at his desk in the North Pole and itemized the
benefits of bringing toys to Jewish children. Most obvious was
that there were much less children to service, approximately
3, 000, 000 Jewish children, as opposed to almost 500, 000, 000
The next obvious benefit was that he had eight days of Hanukah to
deliver all of these gifts instead of jamming the entire shipment
into one night, which constantly required the already weary Santa
to travel at the speed of light to more...
HANUKAH SONGS THAT NEVER QUITE CAUGHT ON
- Oy to the World
- Schlepping through a Winter Wonderland
- Hava Negilah - The Megamix
- Bubbie Yetta Got Run Over by a Reindeer
- Enough with those God Damn Jingle Bells Already … Sheez!
- Matzo Man (by the Lower East Side Village People)
- I Have a Little Dreidel (the Barking Dog Version)
- Come on Baby, Light My Menorah
- Deck the Halls with Balls of Matzos
- Silent Night? I Should Be So Lucky
- Jumpin’ around the Chanukah bush