Hans Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Knock Knock

    Hot 3 weeks ago

    Knock Knock
    Who's there?
    Hans!
    Hans who?
    Hans off the table!

    (This is from a little book called "Buurmans hemd nader bekeken," by
    Harry de Jong (in Dutch). I thought it deserved a bigger audience.
    Hans)
    "How often a week do you sleep with your wife?"
    asked the inquirer.
    "Three times," I said without hesitation.
    "That is once more often than your neighbour,"
    the inquirer said, writing.
    "That makes sense," I said, "after all, she's my wife."
    Hans Buurman, Pattern Recognition Group
    Faculty of Applied Physics, Delft University of Technology

    This guy is walking through Chinatown and sees a building with asign "Hans Olaffsen's Laundry." "Hans Olaffsen?", he thinks. "How inthe world does that fit in here?"So, he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman sittingin the corner. The visitor asks, "How in the world did this placeget a name like Hans Olaffsen's Laundry?"The old man answers "Is name of owner."The visitor asks "Well, who is the owner?""I am he," answers the old man."You? How did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?"The old man replies, "Many years ago when I come to this country, Iwas standing in line at Documentation Center. Man in front of mewas big blonde Swede. Lady look at him and go, "What your name?" Hesay, " Hans Olaffsen." She look at me say, "What your name?" I say,"Sam Ting."

    This guy is walking through Chinatown. He is fascinated with all the Chinese Restaurants, the Chinese shops, the Chinese signs and banners on the buildings. He is having the best time just walking and looking. He turns a corner and sees a building with a sign "Hans Olaffsen's Laundry".
    "Hans Olaffsen?" he thinks. "How in the world does that fit in here?"
    He walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman sitting in the corner. The visitor asks, "How in the world did this place get a name like Hans Olaffsen's Laundry?".
    The old man answers, "Is name of owner."
    The visitor asks, "Well, who in the heck is the owner?"
    "I am he," answers the old man.
    "You? How in the heck did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?"
    The old man replies, "Many years ago when I come to this country, I was standing in line at Documentation Center. Man in front of me was big blonde Swede. Lady more...

    This guy is walking through Chinatown. He is fascinated with all the Chinese Restaurants, the Chinese shops, the Chinese signs and banners on the buildings. He is having the best time just walking and looking. He turns a corner and sees a building with a sign "Hans Olaffsen's Laundry".
    "Hans Olaffsen?", he thinks. "How in the world does that fit in here?". So, he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman sitting in the corner.. The visitor asks, "How in the world did this place get a name like Hans Olaffsen's Laundry?".
    The old man answers "Is name of owner." The visitor asks "Well, who in the heck is the owner?". "I am he", answers the old man. "You? How in the heck did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?"
    The old man replies, "Many years ago when I come to this country, I was standing in line at Documentation Center. Man in front of me was big blonde Swede. Lady look at more...

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