Ham Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    METAPHYSICAL MENU... The main course at the big civic dinner was baked ham with glazed sweet potatoes.

    Rabbi Cohen regretfully shook his head when the platter was passed to him.' When,' scolded Father Kelly playfully,' are you going to forget that silly rule of yours and eat ham like the rest of us?' Without skipping a beat, Rabbi Cohen replied:' At your wedding reception, Father Kelly.'

    Ham and Eggs

    Hot 5 years ago

    Ham and Eggs: A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

    We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find
    that: - quicksand can work slowly - boxing rings are square - and a guinea
    pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers
    write, but fingers don't fing... - grocers don't groce,- and hammers
    don't ham?

    There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor
    pine in pineapple.

    English muffins were not invented in England, nor French fries in France.

    Sweetmeats are candies... while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

    If the plural of tooth is teeth... - why isn't the plural of booth beeth?


    One goose, 2 geese; so, one moose, 2. .. meese?

    One index, two indices?

    Is cheese the plural of choose?

    If it is he, his and him - Shouldn't it be she, shis and shim?

    If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

    If a vegetarian eats vegetables, more...

    There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese? One index, two indices? Is cheese the plural of choose? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? In what language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital? Ship by truck, and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways? How can a more...

    What can you say about Ham Burger and Chief Justice Warren Burger? Ham Burger is well done and Chief Justice Warren Burger has done well!

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