Gunshot Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE BILL CLINTON'S FRIEND??
    The following is a list of dead people connected to Bill Clinton. Please
    note the following breakdown of causes, and then think about the statistical possibility of their being random occurrences (especially the plane crashes):
    1. James McDougal - Clinton's convicted Whitewater partner died of an
    apparent heart attack, while in solitary confinement. He was a key
    witness in Ken Starr's investigation.
    2. Mary Mahoney - A former White House intern was murdered July 1997 at a
    Starbucks Coffee Shop in Georgetown. The murder happened just after she
    was to go public with her story of sexual harassment in the White House.
    3. Vince Foster - Former White House counselor, and colleague of Hillary
    Clinton at Little Rock's Rose law firm. Died of a gunshot wound to the
    head, ruled a suicide.
    4. Ron Brown - Secretary of Commerce and former Democratic National
    Committee Chairman. Reported to have died more...

    There was a blonde going on a hunting trip. The hunters told her to wait by the truck and they would be back in a minute. The blonde heard a gunshot and out of the woods came the first hunter with a deer hanging over his shoulder. "How did you get that deer?", the blonde asked. "Well I saw the tracks, followed the tracks, and shot it. Then the blonde heard a second gunshot. The second hunter came out of the woods with a bear slung over his shoulder. "How did you get that bear?". "Well I saw the tracks, followed the tracks, and shot it. Then the blonde asks for his gun determined to get something better than the two hunters. She walked into the woods and she saw the tracks, followed the tracks, and then she got hit by a train.

    A blonde walked into a doctor's office with a hole in her hand. Thedoctor told her that he had to report all gunshot wounds, and this wasan obvious gunshot wound, so would she please explain how it happened? The blonde said, "Well, to be honest with you, I was trying to commitsuicide, so first I stuck the gun in my mouth, but thought, wait aminute, I just had all that bridge work done, and I don't want to ruinit. So, I pointed the gun between my eyes, and then thought, wait aminute, I just got a nose job not too long ago, and I don't want toruin it! Then I pointed the gun at my heart, and thought, wait aminute, I just had these boobs done, and I don't want to ruin them! Sothen I stuck the gun in my ear, and thought, wait a minute, this isgoing to be loud!"

    A super model walked into a doctor's office with a hole in her hand. The doctor told her that he had
    to report all gunshot wounds, and this was an obvious gunshot wound, so would she please explain how
    it happened?
    The super mode said, "Well, to be honest with you, I was trying to commit suicide, so first I stuck
    the gun in my mouth, but thought, wait a minute, I just had all that bridge work done, and I don't
    want to ruin it.
    So, I pointed the gun between my eyes, and then thought, wait a minute, I just got a nose job not too
    long ago, and I don't want to ruin it!
    Then I pointed the gun at my heart, and thought, wait a minute, I just had breasts enlarged, and I
    don't want to ruin them!
    So then I stuck the gun in my ear, and thought, wait a minute, this is going to be loud!

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