Gump Jokes / Recent Jokes

Forest Gump Goes to Heaven...
The day finally arrived: Forest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter himself. The gates are closed, however, and Forest approaches the gatekeeper.
Saint Peter says, "Well, Forest, it's certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you." "I must inform you that the place is filling up fast, and we've been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The tests are fairly short, but you need to pass before you can get into Heaven."
Forest responds, "It shore is good to be here Saint Peter. I was looking forward to this." "Nobody ever told me about any entrance exams. Shore hope the test ain't too hard; life was a big enough test as it was."
Saint Peter goes on, "Yes, I know Forest." "But, the test I have for you is only three questions. Here is the first: What days of the week begin with the letter 'T'?" "Second, how many more...

Forest Gump Goes to Heaven...The day finally arrived: Forest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter himself. The gates are closed, however, and Forest approaches the gatekeeper.Saint Peter says, "Well, Forest, it's certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you." "I must inform you that the place is filling up fast, and we've been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The tests are fairly short, but you need to pass before you can get into Heaven."Forest responds, "It shore is good to be here Saint Peter. I was looking forward to this." "Nobody ever told me about any entrance exams. Shore hope the test ain't too hard; life was a big enough test as it was."Saint Peter goes on, "Yes, I know Forest." "But, the test I have for you is only three questions. Here is the first: What days of the week begin with the letter 'T'?" "Second, how many seconds are there in a more...

Forrest Gump - Life is like a Box of chocolates...
Forrest Dahmer - People are like a box of chocolate, YUM!
Forrest (Homer)Simpson - Mmmmm, chocolate
Forrest the Hun - Chocolate all mine!
Forrest Simmons - Chocolate is bad!, EXERCISE EXERCISE!
Forrest Rivera - People who like Chocolate..Next on 'Forrest'
Forrest Shakespeare - Chocolate, or no chocolate that's the question
Forrest Of Borg - All chocolates must be assimilated
Forrest Presley - Hunk a hunk of milk chocolate
Forrest Zen - I am one with the chocolate
Forrest McClaine - I used to be a box of Chocolates
Forrest Ventura - Chocolates..Alll-Riighty then...
Forrest Lauper - People just wanna have chocolate
Forrest Turner - What's chocolate gotta do, gotta do with it?
Forrest Bones - D*@!* Jim, I'm a Dr., not a box of chocolate
Forrest Spock - Logically speaking, we are all chocolate
Forrest Scotty - The box, she's breaking apart Capt'n
Forrest Butler - Frankly more...

Forrest Gump died and went to heaven. When he got to the Pearly Gates Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth. In order to gain admittance a prospective Heavenly Soul must answer three questions.
1. Name two days of the week that begin with T.
2. How many seconds are in a year?
3. What is God's first name?
Forrest thought for a few minutes and answered, 1. The two days of the week that begin with T are Today and Tomorrow 2. There are 12 seconds in a year. 3. God has two-first names and they are Andy and Howard."
Saint Peter said, "OK I'll buy Today and Tomorrow, even though it's not the answer I expected, your answer is acceptable. But how did you get 12 seconds in a year and why did you ever think that God's first name was either Andy or Howard?"
Forrest responded, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd,...""OK, I give in" said Saint Peter, but what about the God's more...

Forrest Gump dies and goes to heaven.
The gatekeeper at the gate to heaven says, ''There are too many people in heaven so you have to pass this quiz to get in.''
Forrest Gump says, ''Okay.''
The gatekeeper says, ''First question: What two days of the week begin with T?''
Gump replies, ''That's easy. Today and tommorrow.''
The gatekeeper says, ''Well, I didn't think of that so I'll give it to you.
Second question: How many seconds are in a year?''
Gump says, ''12, January 2nd, February 2nd...''
The gatekeeper says, ''That wasn't what I was thinking, but I'll give it to you.
Last question: What is God's first name?''
Gump replies, ''Howard.''
The gatekeeper says, ''How on earth did you get Howard?''
Gump says, ''It's common sense. Our father, who art in heaven, Howard be thy name.''

Forrest Gump died and went to heaven. When he got to the Pearly Gate, Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth. In order to gain admittance a prospective Heavenly Soul must answer three questions.
1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
2. How many seconds are in a year?
3. What is God's first name?
Forrest thought for a few minutes and answered..
"1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow."
"2. There are 12 seconds in a year."
"3. God has two first names and they are Andy and Howard. "

Forrest Gump - Life is like a Box of chocolates... Forrest Dahmer - People are like a box of chocolate, YUM! Forrest (Homer)Simpson - Mmmmm, chocolateForrest the Hun - Chocolate all mine! Forrest Simmons - Chocolate is bad!, EXERCISE EXERCISE! Forrest Rivera - People who like Chocolate.. Next on' Forrest'Forrest Shakespeare - Chocolate, or no chocolate that's the questionForrest Of Borg - All chocolates must be assimilatedForrest Presley - Hunk a hunk of milk chocolateForrest Zen - I am one with the chocolateForrest McClaine - I used to be a box of ChocolatesForrest Ventura - Chocolates.. Alll-Riighty then... Forrest Lauper - People just wanna have chocolateForrest Turner - What's chocolate gotta do, gotta do with it? Forrest Bones - D*@!* Jim, I'm a Dr., not a box of chocolateForrest Spock - Logically speaking, we are all chocolateForrest Scotty - The box, she's breaking apart Capt'nForrest Butler - Frankly Scarlett, I don't like chocolateForrest O'Hara - Tomorrow, is another box of more...