Guitar Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Life's Values

    Hot 1 year ago

    An American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna.
    The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.
    The Mexican replied that it took only a little while.
    The American then asked why didn't he stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family's immediate needs.
    The American then asked, but what do you do with the rest of your time?
    The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life, senior."
    The American scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds more...

    Indian Pop Hits

    Hot 4 years ago

    The Indian Top 10:
    1. Tears on My Pillau.
    2. Its my chappalti and I'll cry if I want to.
    3. Tikka Chance on Me.
    4. Scatnaan.
    5. Korma Korma Chameleon.
    6. What's the Story Morning Tandoori.
    7. Easy like Sanjay Morning.
    8. You Can't Curry Love.
    9. Poppadum Preach.
    10. Sheikh Your Body. All available on the fantastic new album, Turban Hymns by Donner Summer.
    Bohemian Curry (sung to the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen)
    Naan-aa, just killed a man
    Poppadom against his head
    Had lime pickle, now he's dead.
    Naan-aa, dinner just begun
    But now I'm going to crap it all away.
    Naan-aa,
    ooh-ooh
    Didn't mean to make you cry,
    Seen nothin' yet just see the loo tomorrow,
    Curry on, Curry on,
    'cause nothing really madras.
    Too late, my dinner's gone
    Sends shivers up my spine
    Rectum aching all the time.
    Goodbye every bhaji, I've got to go
    Gotta leave you all behind and use the more...

    The Ocotpus!

    Hot 3 years ago

    A man walks into a bar and he has a pet octopus. He sits down at the bar and says to the bartender "give us two beers over here!"
    The bartender walks over and see's the octopus and he says, "Didn't you see the sign over there it says no pets allowed!"
    The man say's to the bartender, "oh but you don't understand this is a special octopus and he can play any musical instrument that you have."
    The bartender replied back, "well I'll tell you what, if he can play any instrument you can both drink for free all night!"
    The bartender walks up to the band playing and grabs a guitar. He puts it down on the bar.
    The octopus crawls up on the bar and feels around the guitar for a little while, then finally he picks it up and starts jamming. He's so good he sounded like Jimi Hendricks!
    The bartender was amazed and says, "alright lets try one more".
    This time he goes into the back room and brings out a dusty old set of more...

    The Ocotpus!

    Hot 3 years ago

    A man walks into a bar and he has a pet octopus. He sits down at the bar and says to the bartender "give us two beers over here!" The bartender walks over and see's the octopus and he says, "Didn't you see the sign over there it says no pets allowed!" The man say's to the bartender, "oh but you don't understand this is a special octopus and he can play any musical instrument that you have."The bartender replied back, "well I'll tell you what, if he can play any instrument you can both drink for free all night!"The bartender walks up to the band playing and grabs a guitar. He puts it down on the bar.The octopus crawls up on the bar and feels around the guitar for a little while, then finally he picks it up and starts jamming. He's so good he sounded like Jimi Hendricks! The bartender was amazed and says, "alright lets try one more". This time he goes into the back room and brings out a dusty old set of bagpipes and promptly put them on more...

    Activision plans to release Guitar Hero: Metallica later this month. Metallica guitarist Kirk Hammett ordered the first copy so he could learn all Dave Mustaine's solos. (For all you metal geeks!)

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