Guardian Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Guardian Angel

    Hot 6 years ago

    A man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, "If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you." The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. He was astonished.
    He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted, "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you, and you will die."
    The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.
    The man asked, "Who are you?"
    "I am your guardian angel," the voice answered.
    "Oh, yeah?" the man asked. "Then where the hell were
    you when I got married?"

    Guardian Angel

    Hot 6 years ago

    A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you."
    The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road.
    Once again the voice shouted: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you and you will die."
    The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.
    "Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?"
    "I am your guardian angel," the voice answered.
    "Oh yeah?" the man asked... "And where were you when I got married?"

    Guardian angel!

    Hot 6 years ago

    A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you."
    The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road.
    Once again the voice shouted, "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you and you will die."
    The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.
    "Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?"
    "I am your guardian angel," the voice answered.
    "Oh yeah?" the man asked..."And where were you when I got married?"

    These are all true cuttings,
    Irish police are being handicapped
    in a search for a stolen van
    because they cannot issue a description. It is
    a Special Branch vehicle and they
    do not want the public to know what it
    looks like. (The Guardian)
    Police reveal that a woman
    arrested for shoplifting had a
    whole salami in her knickers. When asked why she
    said it was because she was
    missing her boyfriend. (Reuters via The
    Manchester Evening News)
    After being charged 20 [pounds] for a 10 [pound]
    overdraft, 30 year old Michael
    Howard of Leeds changed his name by deed
    poll to "Yorkshire Bank PLC Are
    Fascist Bastards". The bank has now asked
    him to close his account and Mr.
    Bastards has asked them to repay the 69p
    balance by cheque made out in his
    new name.
    (The Guardian)
    Notice seen in the Churchtown
    Parish Magazine: Would the
    congregation please
    note that the bowl at the back more...

    A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you."The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you and you will die."The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him."Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?""I am your guardian angel," the voice answered."Oh yeah?" the man asked. "And where were you when I got married?"

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