Groundsman Jokes

It was matchday at the local ground. The groundsman was in the car park when a car drew up and a man looked out.' Excuse me,' he said.' Did I accidentally leave a cigarette alight and burn your pavilion to the ground the last time I was here?'

The groundsman recognised him.' Yes, you certainly did!'

'Oh good, we're at the right ground!'

The slow-moving groundsman ambled into the general store.

Groundsman:' I want two pounds of pesticide for the beetles on the cricket pitch.'

Shopkeeper:' Certainly, sir.'

Groundsman:' Shall I take it?'

Shopkeeper: (heavily)' No. Send the little perishers round for it.'