Greed Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    #1 Once you have their money... never give it back.
    #3 Never pay more for an acquisition than you have to.
    #6 Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
    #7 Keep your ears open.
    #8 Small print leads to large risk.
    #9 Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
    #10 Greed is eternal.
    #13 Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
    #16 A deal is a deal... until a better one comes along.
    #18 A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.
    #19 Satisfaction is not guaranteed.
    #21 Never place friendship above profit.
    #22 A wise man can hear profit in the wind.
    #27 There's nothing more dangerous than an honest business man.
    #31 Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother... insult something he cares about instead.
    #33 It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
    #34 Peace is good for business.
    #35 War is good for business.
    #40 She can touch your lobes but never your latinum.
    #41 Profit is it's own more...

    Twas the night before solstice and all through the co-op
    Not a creature was messing the calm status quo up.
    The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
    Dreaming of lentils and warm whole-grain breads.

    We'd welcomed the winter that day after school
    By dancing and drumming and burning the Yule,
    A more meaningful gesture to honor the planet
    Than buying more trinkets for Mom or Aunt Janet,

    Or choosing a tree just to murder and stump it
    And deck it all out like a seasonal strumpet.
    My spouse and I, having turned down the heat,
    Slipped under the covers for some well-deserved sleep,

    When from out on the lawn there came such a roar
    I slipped from my futon and rolled to the floor.
    I crawled to the window and pulled back the latch,
    And muttered, "Aw, where is that Neighborhood Watch?"

    I saw there below through the murk of the night
    A sleigh and eight reindeer, challenged more...

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