My 75 year old Dad was taking his daily walk through the park when he heard a tiny voice calling to him. "Hey, mister! Pssst, mister!" Dad looked all around, and spotted a little frog sitting in the grass looking up at him.
"Hey mister," said the frog. "A wicked witch cast a spell on me, and turned me into an ugly frog. If you'll just kiss me I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and be forever grateful."
Dad reached down, picked up the frog, put it in his pocket, and proceeded to walk on. The frog called out to him again, "Hey! Didn't you hear me? I said if you'll kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess and be forever grateful."
Dad replied, "I heard you, but at my age, I'd rather just have a talking frog!"
1. MILKING IT: When stroking a guy's dick don't grab it like a bus rail and start jerking it like you were milking a cow. Don't use the love sword as if it's a piece of gym equipment to strengthen the forearms. The male organ is a thing of wonder and beauty, and should be awed, worshipped and held tenderly at all times. The sensitive part is at the top (where your face should be), not two-thirds of the way down.
2. ROBOTS: When sucking a guy's dick don't just get on the end of the thing and jam your head back and forward. It's a beautiful instrument; it should be caressed, inspected, kissed and licked from every possible angle.
3. SILENT FRIGHT: If you've come and cannot be coerced to scream to show your appreciation, at least make some sort of sign to inform the guy that he's done his duty and can blow his biscuits whenever he wants.
4. NO LAUGHING MATTER: Don't laugh if your creative male lover gets carried away and says things like, "I want to rinse your mouth with more...
A lawyer and two friends, a Rabbi and a Hindu holy man, had car trouble inthe countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer.The farmer said, "There might be a problem. You see, I only have room fortwo to sleep, one of you must sleep in the barn.""No problem," spoke the Rabbi. "My people wandered in the desert for fortyyears. I am humble enough to sleep in the barn for an evening." With thathe departed to the barn and the others bedded down for the night.Moments later a knock was heard at the door. The farmer opened the door, and there stood the Rabbi from the barn. "What's wrong?" asked the farmer.He replied, "I am grateful to you, but I can't sleep in the barn. There isa pig in the barn and my faith believes that is an unclean animal."His Hindu friend agreed to swap places with him. But a few minutes latethe same scene occurs. There is a knock on the door. "What's wrong, now?"the farmer asked.The Hindu holy man more...
A lawyer and two friends-a Rabbi, and a Hindu holy man-had car trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer.
The farmer said, "There might be a problem. You see, I only have room for two to sleep in the house. So one of you must sleep in the barn."
"No problem," chimed the Rabbi. "My people wandered in the desert for forty years. I am humble enough to sleep in the barn for one evening." With that he departed to the barn, and the others bedded down for the night.
Moments later a knock was heard at the door; the farmer opened the door. There stood the Rabbi from the barn. "What's wrong?" asked the farmer. He replied, "I am grateful to you, but I just can't sleep in the barn. There is a pig in the barn, and my faith believes that is an unclean animal."
His Hindu friend agrees to swap places with him. But a few minutes later the same scene reoccurs. There is a knock on the door. "What's more...
A husband and wife, out enjoying a round of golf, were about to tee off on
the third hole, which was lined with beautiful homes. The wife hit her
shot and the ball began to slice - her shot was headed directly at a very
large plate glass window. Much to her surprise, the ball smashed through
the window and shattered it into a million pieces. They felt compelled to
see what damage was done and drove off to see what happened. When they
peeked inside the house, they found no one there. The husband called out
and no one answered. Upon further investigation, they saw a small
gentleman sitting on the couch with a turban on his head. The wife asked
the man, "
Do you live here?"
No, someone just hit a ball through the
window, knocked over the vase you see there, freeing me from that little
bottle. I am so grateful!"
he answe red. The wife asked, "
Are you a