Goodbye Jokes / Recent Jokes
90% of men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave the house. The rest kiss their house goodbye when they leave the wife.
As a young man was walking through the supermarket picking up a few things, he couldn't help but notice an old lady was following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he just ignored her and continued on. Finally, he was at the checkout line, but she got in front of him.
"Pardon me, young man," she said, "I apologize if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It's just that you look so much like my son who passed away recently."
"I'm terribly sorry," replied the young man. "Is there anything I can do for you?"
"Actually, yes, there is," she said. "As I'm leaving, if you could say 'Goodbye mother', it would make me feel so much better."
"Sure, no problem," the young man said. As the old woman was leaving, he called out 'Goodbye mother'.
When he stepped up to the checkout counter, he noticed that his total was $136.75. "How can that possibly be?" he asked the cashier. "I more...
My computer crashed and died today And I thought, "oh well what the hey" Now I'd have time to clean my house And see if I still had a spouseIt started out with weird frustrations Combined with mild heart palpitations And then my ankles began to swell Withdrawal symptoms from no AOLChills ran up and down my spine Oh, God I had to get on-line To greet my buds and check my mail I began to feel helpless and frailThen I remembered the Good Guy's Store And all those computers by the door I'd go there and when alone With no one looking I'd sign-onI stepped up to a computer, clicked on AOL The Sign-On screen came up, man it sure looked swell I clicked on the Guest name, then came the modem soundI was having cold-sweats, as my heart began to poundThen I typed my password, and the computer said, "Goodbye" And that's what I kept hearing each time that I would try. This was just an evil plot, the store was playing tricks If only they had known how bad I need my AOL more...
Walking through a supermarket, a young man noticed an old lady following him around. He ignored her for a while, but when he got to the checkout line, she got in front of him."Pardon me," she said. "I'm sorry if I've been staring, but you look just like me son who died recently."I'm sorry for your loss," the young man replied. "Is there anything I can do for you?""Well, as I'm leaving, could you just say' Goodbye, mother!?' It would make me feel so much better." She gave him a sweet smile."Of course I can," the young man promised. As she gathered her bags and left, he called out "Goodbye, mother!" just as she had requested, feeling good about her smile. Stepping up to the counter, he saw that his total was about $100 higher than it should be. "That amount is wrong," he said. "I only have a few items!""Oh, your mother said that you would pay for her," explained the clerk.
Do you realize 25% of all married men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave the house? Of these same men 90% will kiss their house goodbye when their wife leaves.
George, Robin and Alex are standing at the Gates of Heaven being interviewed by St. Peter. "Ok you, George, how many times did you cheat on your wife??" "Let me be honest Peter. I`ve been seeing at least two or three different women a year all my married life". "Ok, your car in heaven is that Hyundai Santro there. Goodbye." St. Peter turns to Robin, "How many times did you cheat on your wife??" Robin replies, "I must admit that in fifteen years of marriage I did cheat on my wife twice." St. Peter says, "OK, your car in heaven is that Honda Civic. Here are the keys. Get going!" He then looks at Alex, "And you, how many times did you cheat on your wife??" Alex lifts his head high and replies, "I am proud to say that in over twenty years of marriage, I never cheated on my wife. In fact, my beloved has been dead for two years now and I remained celibate the whole time!" St Peter replies, "Very impressive. more...