Goodbye Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Goodbye To Mother

    Hot 2 years ago

    A couple were going out for the evening. They'd got ready, all dolled up, cat put out, etc. The taxi arrives, and as the couple got out, the cat shoots back in. They don't want the cat shut in the house, so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes upstairs to chase the cat out. The wife, not wanting it known that the house will be empty explains to the taxi driver "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother." A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab -"Sorry I took so long" he says, "Stupid old thing was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out!"

    Bad day...

    Hot 6 years ago

    A guy was listening to his kid say his nightly prayers.
    The kid says, "Goodnight mommy, daddy, grandpa, and goodbye grandma."
    The next day the grandma dies. The guy thinks this is really weird.
    That night, the kid says "Good-
    night mommy, daddy, and goodbye grandpa" The next day the grandpa dies.
    The father thinks this is really weird. That night the kid says, "Goodnight mommy, and goodbye daddy."
    The father freaks. He's thinking I'm gonna die. So the next day he goes to work really slowly and carefully, and is nice to everyone at work.
    At the end of the day, he drives home really carefully and collapses into a chair.
    He says," Honey, can you get me a cup of coffee? I've had a really bad day." She says "YOU'VE had a bad day! I found the mailman dead on the doorstep!"

    As a young man was walking through the supermarket picking up a few things, he couldn't help but notice an old lady was following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he just ignored her and continued on. Finally, he was at the checkout line, but she got in front of him.
    "Pardon me, young man," she said, "I apologize if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It's just that you look so much like my son who passed away recently."
    "I'm terribly sorry," replied the young man. "Is there anything I can do for you?"
    "Actually, yes, there is," she said. "As I'm leaving, if you could say 'Goodbye mother', it would make me feel so much better."
    "Sure, no problem," the young man said. As the old woman was leaving, he called out 'Goodbye mother'.
    When he stepped up to the checkout counter, he noticed that his total was $136.75. "How can that possibly be?" he asked the cashier. "I more...

    Do you realize 25% of all married men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave the house? Of these same men 90% will kiss their house goodbye when their wife leaves.

    My computer crashed and died today And I thought, "oh well what the hey" Now I'd have time to clean my house And see if I still had a spouseIt started out with weird frustrations Combined with mild heart palpitations And then my ankles began to swell Withdrawal symptoms from no AOLChills ran up and down my spine Oh, God I had to get on-line To greet my buds and check my mail I began to feel helpless and frailThen I remembered the Good Guy's Store And all those computers by the door I'd go there and when alone With no one looking I'd sign-onI stepped up to a computer, clicked on AOL The Sign-On screen came up, man it sure looked swell I clicked on the Guest name, then came the modem soundI was having cold-sweats, as my heart began to poundThen I typed my password, and the computer said, "Goodbye" And that's what I kept hearing each time that I would try. This was just an evil plot, the store was playing tricks If only they had known how bad I need my AOL more...

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