Gonzales Jokes

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    Attorney General Alberto Gonzales announced on Monday that he has resigned from his position effective September 17th. When asked what he plans on doing after his resignation, Gonzales replied, "I don't recall ever resigning."

    Now, vendor Abel Gonzales Jr. has come up with a new artery-clogging concoction for the State Fair of Texas. It's fried Coke.
    Gonzales deep-fries Coca-Cola-flavored batter. He then drizzles Coke fountain syrup on it. The fried Coke is topped with whipped cream, cinnamon sugar and a cherry. Gonzales said the fried Coke came about just from thinking aloud.
    You will find the fried Coke booth between the diabetic check up booth and the "guess your weight" booth.

    After his graduation from college, the son of a Spanish lawyer was considering his future. He went to his father and asked if he might be given a desk in the corner from which he could observe his fathers activities and be introduced to his fathers clients as a clerk. His observations would help him decide whether or not to become a lawyer. His father thought this was a great idea and immediately helped to set it up.

    The first client the next morning was a tenant farmer--a rough man with calloused hands who was dressed in workmans clothing. He said,

    "Mr. Lawyer, I work for the Gonzales farm on the east side of town. For many years I have tended their crops and animals, including some cows. I have raised the cows, fed them and looked after them. And I was always given the understanding and the belief that I was the owner of these cows. Now Mr. Gonzales has died and his son has inherited the farm. He believes that since the cows were raised on his land and ate more...

    Some are getting tired of this ongoing saga. Since the media won't give it a rest and move on, we recommend playing the following game during any network or local news shows, "special reports," news magazines (i.e.,Dateline, 20/20, etc), talk shows, or any other appropriate TV shows.

    Guaranteed to make watching this story more entertaining or your money back!

    Beverages required to play the game: Each player must have a beer handy, a liquor appropriate for pouring shots is also required (tequila or rum is preferred).

    RULES OF PLAY

    - If a TV announcer says "Castro" everyone in the room must salute with their left hand. The last person to do so must take a shot. If anyone salutes with their right hand accidentally, they also have to take a shot.

    - If the photo of the SWAT "gunman" is shown, everyone must act scared. The last person to do so must take a shot and then go into a closet until he is more...

    U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales announced his resignation today.

    Asked if he looked forward to spending time with his family, Gonzales stated he could not recall having a family.

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