Gong Jokes

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    Talking Clock

    Hot 6 months ago

    A drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night.
    He led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong and a mallet.
    What's with that big brass gong?" one of the guests asked.
    It's not a gong. It's a talking clock", the drunk replied. A talking clock? Seriously?" asked his astonished friend.
    "Yup", replied the drunk.
    How's it work?" the friend asked, squinting at it.
    "Watch", the drunk replied. He picked up the mallet, gave the gong an ear-shattering pound, and stepped back.
    The three stood looking at one another for a moment.
    Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, "You asshole! It's three-fifteen in the morning!

    Only the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) can assure economic prosperity. Only the CCP can maintain societal stability. No one wants freedom. All Chinese demand national reunification meaning that the mainland must take over Taiwan. The one child policy works. China is capitalist. The Tiananmen Massacre was necessary in order to prevent chaos. Only the CCP produces people capable of leading the country. Deng Xiaoping intended to implement democracy. 1 country 2 systems works. Mao unified China. Falun Gong wants to destroy China. The CCP opposes corruption. CCP is like the sun. The CCP cares about Chinese. The People's Liberation Army (PLA) has the ability to invade and take over Taiwan. The PLA won the 1979 war with Vietnam. 1 million dead PLA' volunteers' in Korea constituted a victory. The PLA knows how to maintain the modern Russian aircraft and ships that it purchased Zhu Rongji wants to clean up corruption. Mainland corruption is not creeping into Hong Kong. Falun Gong is a more...

    Following a night out with a few friends, a man brought them back to show off his new flat.
    After the grand tour, the visitors were rather perplexed by the large gong taking pride of place on the lounge.
    "What's that big brass gong for?" one of the guests asked.
    "Why, that's my Speaking Clock," the man replied.
    "How does it work?"
    "I'll show you", the man said, giving the gong an ear shattering blow with an unpadded hammer.
    Suddenly, a voice from the other side of the wall screamed, ""For **** sake, you ***, it's twenty to two in the ****ing morning!!"

    While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends late one night, the drunk led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong."What's that big brass gong for?" one of the guests asked."Why, that's my talking clock," the man replied."How does it work?" asked one of his friends."Watch this," the man said, giving it an ear-shattering pound with a hammer.Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, "Hey !*#^$*@! It's 2 in the $&@!%&# morning!"

    While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock," the man replied. "How's it work?"
    "Watch," the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning!"

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