Gods Jokes

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    I don't care WHO you are, you're not walking on the water while I'm fishing.

    A good sermon should have a good beginning and a good ending, and they should be as close together as possible.

    Definition of Atheism: a non-prophet organization.

    Jesus saves, Allah forgives, Cthulhu thinks you'd make a nice sandwich.

    Why settle for the lesser of two evils?

    Photons have mass!? I didn't even know they were Catholic...

    Here's to the sun God, He sure is a fun God, Ra, Ra, Ra

    Christ died for our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them? - Jules Feiffer

    A diagnostic is someone who doesn't know whether there are two gods.

    As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

    In the beginning, God created the Baptists. And the Baptists looked at themselves and said, "We good." And God saw it was too late.

    Televangelists: The Pro more...

    Son: Pop... what is the Ramayan stuff that all my friends in school talk about..

    Pop: So, like this dude had, like, a big cool kingdom and people liked him. But, like, his step mom, or somethin', was kind of a bitch, and she forced her husband to, like, you know, send this cool dude, he was Ram, to some national forest or reserve or somethin'.

    Since he was going, for like, somethin' like more than 10 years or so, he decided to take his wife and his bro along. You know... so that they could all chill out together. But dude, the forest was reeeeeeal scary shit, really man, they had monkeys and devils and shit like that.

    But this dude, Ram, kicked their ass with darts, bows and arrows, so it was fine. But then some bad boys, some jerk called Ravan, picks up his babe (Sita) and lures her away to his hood. And boy, were our man, and his bro Lakshman, pissed! And you don't piss this son-of-a-gunz' coz, he just kicks ass and like, all the gods were with more...

    "Cupid kissed God and that got the ball rollin'."
    Julio, age 9
    "One of the Greek lady gods got a crush on one of the Greek man gods.
    he tried to hit her with lightning and thunderbolts, but he just
    couldn't get her away from him... After a while, they became the
    first married gods.
    Robbie, age 8
    "One of the people has freckles and so he finds somebody else who has
    freckles too."
    Andrew, age 6
    "No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do
    with how you smell...That's why perfume and deodorant are so
    Mae, age 9
    "I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but
    the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful."
    Manuel, age 8
    "Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life."
    John, age more...

    Some ski slope workers shaved their heads to appease the snow gods. Others sacrificed mock skis and snowboards in a bonfire, in hopes of some much needed snow at Vermont ski resorts. But mostly, they just smoked a lot of pot.

    Theists think all gods but theirs are false. Atheists simply don't make an exception for the last one.

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