Goats Jokes

In a court room, A man was being charged of stealing two goats and impregnating them
judgel: ur plea
man:when i was showing the goats my manpower they were giving me
their woman power.

In response to a "feud" that had been started by neighbors, a man in Virginia broke into his neighbors barn, left pornographic photos on the ground and spray painted his goats.
When captured the man and his driver/accomplice were both charged.
The driver was sentenced to probation for his part in the "caper." The spray painter was charged with a fine and ordered to "find a fucking hobby."

Once upon a time, a blonde became so sick of hearing blonde jokes that she had her hair cut and dyed brown. A few days later, as she was driving around the countryside, she stopped her car to let a herd of goats pass.

Admiring the cute creatures, she said to the goatherder,' 'If I can guess how many goats you have, can I take one?''.

The goatherder, always the gentleman replied,' 'Of course.''

The blonde thought for a moment and for no discernible reason said,' '352.''

This being the correct number, the goatherder was, understandably totally amazed and exclaimed,' 'You're right! Okay, I'll keep my end of the deal. Take your pick of my herd.''

The blonde carefully considered the entire herd and finally picked one that was by far cuter and more playful than any of the others.

When she was done, the goatherder turned to her and said,' 'Okay, now I have a proposition for you. If I can guess your true hair color, can I have more...

A group of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland. As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through a process of cheese making.

Explaining that goats milk was used. she showed the group a lively hillside where many goats were grazing. These, she explained, were the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produced.

She then asked, "What do you do in America with your older goats?".

A spry old gentleman answered, "They send us on bus tours".

The String And Octopus Guide To Parenthood by Colin BowlesPreparation for parenthood is not just a matter of reading books and decorating the nursery. Here are 12 simple tests for expectant parents to take to prepare themselves for the real-life experience of being a mother or father. 1. Women: to prepare for maternity, put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front. Leave it there for 9 months. After 9 months, take out 10% of the beans. Men: to prepare for paternity, go to the local pharmacy, tip the contents of your wallet on the counter, and tell the pharmacist to help himself. Then go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office. Go home. Pick up the paper. Read it for the last time. 2. Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels, and how they have allowed their children to run riot. Suggest more...