Global Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    "... Perhaps of even greater significance is the
    continuous and profound distrust of science and technology
    that the environmental movement displays. The environmental
    movement maintains that science and technology cannot be
    relied upon to build a safe atomic power plant, to produce
    a pesticide that is safe, or even bake a loaf of bread that
    is safe, if that loaf of bread contains chemical preservatives.
    When it comes to global warming, however, it turns out that
    there is one area in which the environmental movement
    displays the most breathtaking confidence in the reliability
    of science and technology, an area in which, until recently,
    no one-even the staunchest supporters of science and
    technology-had ever thought to assert very much confidence
    at all. The one thing, the environmental movement holds,
    that science and technology can do so well that we are
    entitled to have unlimited confidence in them, is FORECAST
    THE more...

    In a move IBM offices are hailing as a major step in the company's ongoing worldwide telecommunications revolution, M'wana Ndeti, a member of Zaire's Bantu tribe, used an IBM global uplink network modem yesterday to crush a nut.
    Ndeti, who spent twenty minutes trying to open the nut by hand, easily cracked it open by smashing it repeatedly with the powerful modem.
    "I could not crush the nut by myself," said the forty-seven-year-old Ndeti, who added the savory nut to a thick, peanut-based soup minutes later. "With IBM's help, I was able to break it."
    Ndeti discovered the nut-breaking, 28.8 V.34 modem yesterday, when IBM was shooting a commercial in his southwestern Zaire village. During a break in shooting, which shows African villagers eagerly teleconferencing via computer with Japanese schoolchildren, Ndeti snuck onto the set and took the modem, which he believed would serve well as a "smashing" utensil.
    IBM officials were not surprised more...

    Friday, December 22nd is Global Orgasm Day. On that day everyone is supposed to concentrate their thoughts on global peace while achieving climax.

    Organizers note several records are likely to be established on this day such as the loudest ever synchronized "Oh, God!" and the single day record for STDs.

    There would be a certain irony to the whole thing if it actually led to us pulling out of Iraq.
    Many female participants are concerned that the event will only serve to generate false hopes for peace if orgasms are faked on such a mass scale.

    The founders of Global Orgasm Day hope to build on their success with a follow-up event the next day called Global Laundry Day.

    Global Orgasm Day - because, if you can't get laid in the name of peace...you can't get laid.

    i bet, one day, after the world blows up, we'll all look back at global warming and all the other "theories" and just laugh and laugh.

    M'wana Ndeti, a member of Zaire's Bantu tribe, used an IBM global uplink network modem yesterday
    to crush a nut.
    Ndeti, who spent 20 minutes trying to open the nut by hand, easily cracked it open by smashing it
    repeatedly with the powerful modem.
    "I could not crush the nut by myself," said the 47-year-old Ndeti, who added the savory nut to a
    thick, peanut-based soup minutes later. "With IBM's help, I was able to break it." Ndeti discovered
    the nut-breaking, 28. 8 V. 34 modem yesterday, when IBM was shooting a commercial in his southwestern
    Zaire village. During a break in shooting, which shows African villagers eagerly teleconferencing via
    computer with Japanese school children, Ndeti snuck onto the set and took the modem, which he
    believed would serve well as a "smashing" utensil.
    IBM officials were not surprised the longtime computer giant was able to provide Ndeti with practical
    solutions to his more...

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