Giraffe Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Guy and His Pet Giraffe Go Into This Bar Ok And The Guy Says To The Bartender 10 Pitchers Of Beer
5 For Me And 5 For My Giraffe So Later That Night The Giraffe Passes Out On The Floor So The Giraffe Owner Gets Up To Leave And The Bartender Says"Yo You Cant Just Leave That Lyen Here" And The Giraffe Owner Says" Thats Not A Lion Thats A Giraffe"

A man and giraffe walk into a bar and get totally faceless drunk. The giraffe passes out and man gets up to leave.

Barman says "you can't leave that lying there."

Man says "it's not a lion it's a giraffe."

Are you management material? Do you have what it takes to be an effective manager in corporate America?
Take this quiz and find out. The brief quiz below includes four questions and indicates whether you are qualified to be a manager in your employer's company. The questions are not that difficult.
How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, insert the giraffe, and close the door.
(This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.)
How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
Wrong answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant and close the refrigerator door.
Correct answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, insert the elephant, and close the door.
(This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your actions.)
The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend?
Correct more...

One fine day Mister Rabbit goes running around the forest.
He sees a giraffe rolling a joint. "Giraffe, giraffe! Why do you do drugs? Come run with me instead!"
So the giraffe stops rolling his joint and runs with the rabbit.
Then they come across an elephant doing lines. Says the rabbit: "Elephant, elephant, why do you do drugs? Come run with us instead."
So the elephant stops and goes running with the two. Then they come across a lion preparing a syringe. "Lion, lion," cries the rabbit, "Why do you do drugs? Come run with us instead."
The lion, with a mighty roar, bangs the rabbit to smithereens.
"No!" the giraffe and the elephant cry. "Why did you do that? All he was trying to do was to help you out!"
The lion replied, "Damn rabbit always makes me run around the friggin' forest when he's on speed!"

Q: What did the giraffe say when he swaggered into the bar?
A: "The highballs are on me."

One fine day Mister Rabbit goes running around the forest.
He sees a giraffe rolling a joint. "Giraffe, giraffe! Why do you do drugs? Come run with me instead!"
So the giraffe stops rolling his joint and runs with the rabbit.
Then they come across an elephant doing lines. Says the rabbit: "Elephant, elephant, why do you do drugs? Come run with us instead."
So the elephant stops and goes running with the two. Then they come across a lion preparing a syringe. "Lion, lion," cries the rabbit, "Why do you do drugs? Come run with us instead."
The lion, with a mighty roar, bangs the rabbit to smithereens.
"No!" the giraffe and the elephant cry. "Why did you do that? All he was trying to do was to help you out!"
The lion replied, "Damn rabbit always makes me run around the friggin' forest when he's on speed!"

A little too much joie de vivre while demonstrating the erector set, if you know what I mean.
Every time you're passed over for a promotion, you stick your head in an Easy Bake Oven and threaten to "end it all."
You got caught adding a garage to your house using embezzled Lego bricks.
Numerous parental complaints about your "Tickle Me Carl The Stockboy" display.
You went overboard with your GI Joe Militia display by adding the Tonka truck full of fertilizer.
Cross-dressing the Ken and Barbie dolls and telling kids they're the new "Jerry Springer" edition.
The "My Little Taxidermy Kit" (with starter squirrel) is not selling.
Impromptu demonstrations of why Malibu Ken is not anatomically correct.
Got caught doing your Dolly Parton impression with basketballs again.
Source of reefer smoke finally traced to "nostrils" of Geoffrey the Giraffe.
Jaws of life needed to pull your knees out of more...