I hate the World Cup. It blows. Mostly because I watched the USA team and we suck. We scored two goals in three games. Not bad for four years of training. By the way, one of our goals was scored accidentally by the other team! We have no big scorer. You're telling me the USA can't produce one big soccer star? It's kicking a ball! We need a guy with one name. That's the key. Brazil is full of them. They have Rolidinho, Rinaldo, Kafu, and my favorite name ever: Caca. That's what we need! A guy named after excrement. Like DooDoo or PeePee. We were eliminated by Ghana. Ghana? I don't even know where Ghana IS and they beat us! Do you know that they had to shut down the mine shafts in Ghana to conserve electricity so the country would have enough power for their television to run? The first thing I thought was-Ghana has a television? Next thing you know they'll have nukes! How did we not pay them off? Pssst-hey goalie, I'll give your whole team XBoxes and dentistry for a year if you let us more...