Geezer Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    An elderly gentleman had had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He finally went to a doctor one day, and he was fitted with an exceptional hearing aid.The old geezer returned a month later for a checkup, and the doctor remarked, "Your hearing is perfect! Your family must really be pleased that you can hear again."The old geezer replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to their conversations... and in that time I've changed my will three times!"

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    Moses, Jesus and some' ol geezer are going to play a round of golf. Moses tees off, the ball goes right into the pond. No problem! Moses walks over parts the water and hits the ball again, where it lands about 1 foot from the first hole.

    Jesus then tees off and the ball goes flying off to the left, hits a tree, then miraculously bounces to about 6 inches from the hole.

    The' ol geezer steps up, tees off, the ball heads right for the pond, a huge bass jumps up grabs the ball in its mouth, suddenly an eagle swoops down, grabs the bass and flies over the green, the bass drops the ball and it rolls to just about 2 inches from the hole! All of a sudden a worm pops up and knocks the ball in. A hole in one.

    Moses looks at Jesus and says, "You know, I really hate it when your DAD plays."

    After marrying a sweet young woman, a 90-year-old
    geezer told his doctor that they were expecting a baby.
    "Let me tell you a story," said the doctor.
    "An absent-minded fellow went hunting, but instead of
    a gun, he picked up an umbrella.
    Suddenly a bear charged him. Pointing his umbrella
    at the bear, he shot and killed it on the spot."
    "Impossible!" the geezer exclaimed.
    "Somebody else must have shot that bear."
    "Exactly," replied the doctor.

    It was the stir of the town when an 80 year old man married a young, twenty year old woman.
    A year later, she went into the hospital to give birth. The nurse walked into the waiting room and congratulated the old fellow. "This is amazing. How do you do it at your age?" The old geezer answered, "You've got to keep that old motor running."
    The following year, the young woman gave birth again. Once again, the same nurse approached the old guy and begged the question, "How do you do it?"
    Again, he replied, "You've got to keep the old motor running."
    Well, sure enough, another year passed and the young woman gave birth yet again. The nurse said to the old fellow, "I don't get it - you must be quite a man." The old geezer again reasoned, "You've got to keep that old motor running."
    "Well," said the nurse, "you'd better change the oil in that old motor because this one's black!"

    After marrying a sweet young woman, a 90-year-old geezer told his doctor that they were expecting a baby.
    "Let me tell you a story," said the doctor. "An absent-minded fellow went hunting, but instead of a gun, he picked up an umbrella. Suddenly a bear charged him. Pointing his umbrella at the bear, he shot and killed it on the spot."
    "Impossible!" the geezer exclaimed. "Somebody else must have shot that bear."
    "Exactly," replied the doctor.

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