Geese Jokes

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    Cock A Doodly Doo!

    Hot 6 years ago

    This farmer has about 200 hens, but no rooster, and he wants chicks. So he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster which he would sell. The other farmer says, "Yeah, I've this great rooster, named Randy. He'll service every chicken you got, no problem." Well, Randy the rooster costs a lot of money, but, farmer decides he'd be worth it. So, he buys Randy and takes the rooster home. He then sets him down in the barnyard and gives the rooster a pep talk, "Randy, I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of money. Consequently, I'll need you to do a good job. "So, take your time and have some fun," the farmer ended with a chuckle. Randy seemed to understand, so the farmer points toward the hen house, and Randy took off like a shot. WHAM! Randy nails every hen in the hen house three or four times, and the farmer is really shocked. After that the farmer hears a commotion in the more...

    Dec 25
    My dearest darling Edward,
    What a wonderful surprise has just greeted me! That sweet partridge, in that lovely little pear-tree; what an enchanting, romantic, poetic present! Bless you, and thank you.
    Your deeply loving,
    EmilyDec. 26
    Beloved Edward,
    The two turtle-doves arrived this morning, and are cooing away in the pear-tree as I write. I'm so touched and grateful!
    With undying love, as always,
    EmilyDec. 27
    My darling Edward,
    You do think of the most original presents! Who ever thought of sending anybody three French hens? Do they really come all the way from France? It's a pity we have no chicken coops, but I expect we'll find some. Anyway, thank-you so much; they're lovely.
    Your devoted,
    EmilyDec. 28
    Dearest Edward,
    What a surprise! Four calling birds arrived this morning. They are very sweet, even if they do call rather loudly - they make telephoning almost impossible - but I expect they'll calm down more...

    A mathematician, a physicist, and a statistician go out on a duck hunt. They have only one gun. The come across some geese and the mathematician quickly calculates the distance, the velocity, the angle, etc. and shoots.
    Well, he misses by a foot to the LEFT!
    They come across geese again, and this time the physicist takes the gun. After calculating all the angles, flight paths, velocities, etc. the physicist also takes into consideration the gravity, air frictions, and such things... and fires!
    Well, s/he misses by a foot to the RIGHT!
    The statistician jumps up and down, yelling, "We got'em! We got'em!"

    December 14, 2003Dearest Dave, I went to the door today, and the postman delivered a partridge in a pear tree. This was a delightful gift! I couldn't have been more surprised or pleased darling! With truly the deepest love, AgnesDecember 15, 2003Dearest Dave, Today the postman brought me yet another of your sweet gifts. The two turtule doves that arrived today are adorable, and I'm delighted by your thoughtful and generous ways.With all of my love, Your AgnesDecember 16, 2003Dearest Dave, You've truly been too kind! I must protest; I don't deserve such generosity. The thought of getting three French hens amazes me. Yet, I am not surprised-what more should I expect from such a nice person.Love, AgnesDecember 17, 2003Dear Dave, Four calling birds arrived in the mail today. They are truly nice but don't you think that enough is enough? You are being too romantic.Affectionately, AgnesDecember 18, 2003Dearest darling Dave, It was a surprise to get five golden rings! I now have one for more...

    December 14th
    Dearest John:
    I went to the door today and the postman delivered a partridge in a pear tree. What a delightful gift. I couldn't have been more surprised.
    With dearest love and affection, Agnes
    December 15th
    Dearest John:
    Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine, two turtle doves... I'm just delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are just adorable.
    All my love, Agnes
    December 16th
    Dear John:
    Oh, aren't you the extravagant one! Now I must protest. I don't deserve such generosity. Three French hens. They are just darling but I must insist... you're just too kind.
    Love Agnes
    December 17th
    Today the postman delivered four calling birds. Now really! They are beautiful, but don't you think enough is enough? You're being too romantic.
    Affectionately, Agnes
    December 18th
    Dearest John:
    What a surprise! Today the postman delivered five golden rings. One for each finger. You're just more...

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