Gay Jokes / Recent Jokes

Their is a man sitting in a bar when gay man approaches and says, "If you woke up in the forest and your ass itched and you itched it and got Vaseline on your hand, would you tell anybody?"

The other man said. "NO!"

Then the gay says, "If you reached farther into your crack and pulled out a used condom would you tell anyone?"

The guy said "HELL NO!"

Then the gay guy said "Wanna go camping"

Two gay men were in bed fooling around when all of asudden the door bell rings. The first gay man tellsthe second, "Don't cum until I come back", and herushes off to answer the door. After a few minutes, he eagerly returns to the bedroomonly to find cum was all over the bed and sheets. Hesays to the second gay man, "I thought you wasn't goingto cum until I came back. The second gay man says to thefirst, "I didn't cum,. ....... I farted! Sent by Ken "C"

1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control are not natural.

2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people cannot get legally married because the world needs more children.

3. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children because straight parents only raise straight children.

4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful, since Britney Spears's 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.

5. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and it hasn't changed at all: women are property, Blacks can't marry Whites, and divorce is illegal.

6. Gay marriage should be decided by the people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of minorities.

7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are always more...

A gay guy walks into a bar and says "bartender give me a brewskie."

The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here."

The gay continues, "I'll just sit in the corner and drink my beer and won't say anything."

The bartender says, "Well, all right!" and pours a beer.

A while later a cowboy walks in and says "Bartender give me a beer! I'm so thirsty I could lick the sweat off a cow's balls"

A voice is heard from the corner. "Moo! Moo! Buckaroo!"

December 1
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. There will be lots of spiked eggnog and a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree! Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10. Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Patty Lewis
Human Resources Director
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December 2nd
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that, Hanukkah is an important holiday that often coincides with Christmas (though unfortunately not this year). However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. There more...

A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman “Give me six Double vodkas. ” The barman says “Wow! you must have had one hell of a day. ” “Yes, I’ve just found out my older brother is gay. ” The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, “I’ve just found out that my younger brother is gay too! ” On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas. The bartender said “Jesus! Doesn’t anybody in your family like women? ” “Yeah, my wife…”

a. Head for the largest open expanse of urinal available. If you stand too close to someone, they will think that you are gay. If you stand too far away from someone, they will think that you think that they are gay. b. Three shakes only. Two is unhygienic, four is a wanker. c. If you fart, say "Whooaa, what a ripper!"d. Don't look. Real men never compare sizes. e. Never use the drying machines or the towels. Walking out with wet hands into the bar looks like the condensation off at least six pitchers.