Gas Price Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Are you familiar with the company BP? It’s one of the world’s largest gas companies, and its CEO is stepping down due to allegations that he was involved in a relationship with another man. And the news isn’t completely unexpected, because for awhile I thought it odd that the types of fuel they have at BP are Regular, Super, and Absolutely Fabulous.

    Gas prices continue to pinch U.S. drivers. Living in New York, I get to save that expense and take mass transit, although I do spend $300 a month on pepper spray. The good news is that I'm getting 40 miles per gallon of pepper spray.

    U.S. retail gas prices dropped nearly 22 cents a gallon in the past two weeks, the second decline in a row since a mid-August peak, according to a survey released Sunday.
    Some industry experts predict gas prices will drop in direct proportion to how well Congress fares in upcoming election polls.
    Translation: We'll have 3 cent-a-gallon gas on November 1.

    Consumers were feeling confident in January: The job market was chugging along and oil prices were down. Another factor: Consumers totally ended their slumps when they hooked up with decent-looking chicks at New Year's Eve parties.

    Gasoline prices at U.S. pumps rose an average of a nickel a gallon over the last two weeks, ending three months of falling prices. Politicans everywhere were initially outraged but calmed down once they realized elections were over two weeks ago.
    Congress did however react to the news of higher prices by passing legistlation that gives the right to build all future gas pumps exclusively to Diebold.

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