Gas Jokes / Recent Jokes
A blonde woman is driving down the road. She notices that she's low on gas, so she stops at a gas station. While she's pumping her gas, she notices that she locked the keys in the car. So when she goes inside to pay, she asks the attendant for a hanger so that she can attempt to open the door herself. She returns outside and begins to jimmy the lock. Ten minutes later, the attendant comes out to see how the blonde is doing. Outside the car, the blonde is moving the hanger around and around while the blonde inside the car is saying... "A little more to the left...a little more to the right"
Two employees form the gas company were at a house call. The younger man said to the older one, "Geez, you''re old!"
"Yeah, that may be so, but I can still outrun you," replied the older employee.
"How about a foot race to see if you''re right," said the younger employee.
With that they start running at full speed around that block. The older man kept up with the younger man around the first corner, the second corner, the third corner. As they come up on the last corner, the younger man sees an elderly woman running as fast as her legs could carry her. Puzzled by this, they both stop ask her why she was running behind them. The old woman caught her breath and said, "Well, you were at my home checking my gas meter, and when I saw you running away, I figured I''d better run too!"
One day there was this blonde that pulled up to a gas station. She filled her car with gas then went to the gas station clerk. Then she asked him for a hanger. The clerk asked her why and she replied that she locked her keys in the car. So the clerk gave the blonde the hanger.
Thirty minutes later the clerks sees the same blonde outside. So the clerk decides to help them out.
The blonde says, "No thanks."
All of a sudden there was another blonde in the car saying, "A little bit to the left."
I hooked up the gas pedal in my car to the brake lights. I floor it, the people behind me stop, and I'm gone
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
Allegedly a letter to the Home Economist:
Mr. Gates' arguments may also be applied to the electricity utility business. If I were the head of Gates Gas & Electric, the first thing I would do is declare that we sell energy systems, not power, and that customers tell us that they want a familiar energy environment wherever they go
The first step would be to integrate a smart fridge into the overall energy system as it is the first appliance opened by most users and real-time monitoring of beer temperature increases satisfaction with the energy environment for 78% of all customers
Customers would be free to use other fridges, even making someone else's their default appliance. However, if they try to remove the Gas & Electric fridge their television and air conditioner might not function properly. When a circuit fails in an older home we would repair it with a' service pack' that also installs our fridge, eventually introducing all more...
Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near an abandoned gas station. They approached one of the gas pumps, and one of them said to it,' Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader.' The gas pump, of course, didn't respond. The alien repeated the greeting. There was no response.
The alien, annoyed by what he perceived to be the gas pump's haughty attitude, drew his ray gun, and said impatiently,' Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. How dare you ignore us in this way! Take us to your leader or I will fire!'
The other alien shouted to his comrade' No, you mustn't anger him...!', but before he finished his warning, the first alien fired. There was a huge explosion that blew both of them 200 meters into the desert, where they landed in a heap.
When they finally regained consciousness, the one who fired turned to the other one and said,' What a ferocious creature. It nearly killed us! But, how did you know it was so more...