Funny Jokes / Recent Jokes

He wanted to see the butter-fly!

Top Ten Reasons Hurricane Season is Like Christmas 10. Decorating the house (boarding up windows) 9. Dragging out boxes that haven't been used since last season (campinggear, flashlights) 8. Last minute shopping in crowded stores 7. Regular TV shows pre-empted for "specials" 6. Family coming to stay with you 5. Family and friends from out-of-state calling 4. Buying food you don't normally buy... and in large quantities 3. Days off from work 2. Candles And the number one reason Hurricane Season is like Christmas... 1. At some point you know you're going to have a tree in your house!

Funny Riddle

Hot 6 years ago

Two Polish guys are sitting on a park bench, and a bum comes up to them.
"Hey!!" he bellows, in his hoarse voice. "I got a riddle for you two. What has 2 heads, 4 arms, 4 legs, and stinks like SHIT??"
The Polish guys look at each other, and one of them shrugs, "I give up, what has 2 heads, 4 arms, 4 legs, and stinks like SHIT??"
"You and your friend!!" the bum staggers away chuckling.
The Polish guys look at each other and start laughing. "That was a funny riddle that bum told us", they say, "let's go do it on someone."
Laughing almost hysterically, they see two American guys. They come up to them and smile.
"Hey guys!" they laugh. "We got a riddle for you! What has 2 heads, 4 arms, 4 legs, and stinks like SHIT?"
The American guys shrug, waiting for the answer.
The Polish guys chuckle again, and one of them says as he smirks, "Me and my friend!!!"

Conversion

Hot 6 years ago

A Jewish lawyer was troubled by the way his son turned out, and went to see his Rabbi about it. "I brought him up in the faith, gave him a very expensive bar mitzvah, cost me a fortune to educate him. Then he tells me last week he has decided to be a Christian. Rabbi... where did I go wrong?""Funny you should come to me," said the Rabbi. "Like you, I, too, brought my boy up in the faith, put him through University, cost me a fortune, then one day he comes and tells me he has decided to become a Christian.""What did you do?" asked the lawyer. "I turned to God for the answer," replied the rabbi."And what did he say?"He said, "Funny you should come to me..."

Funny bone..

Hot 7 years agoby Bumblesquash

I accidentally elbowed my wife, splattering her nose across her face.
I always wondered why they called it the funny bone.

Sure its a needle but it moves like a sewing machine.

grammar correction

Hot 6 years ago

A girl from Oklahoma and a girl from Wisconsin were seated side by side on a plane.The girl from Oklahoma, being friendly and all said, "So, where y'all from?" The Wisconsin girl said, "From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence." The girl from Oklahoma sat quietly for a few moments and then replied, "So, where y'all from, bitch?"