Always go to other peoples funerals, or they wont come to yours.
When I was younger I hated going to weddings. It seemed that all of my aunts and the grandmotherly types used to come up to me, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me,' You're next.'
They stopped that shit after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals
An American farmer's dog died suddenly after a long and happy life. He visited a Catholic priest to arrange a funeral.
Farmer: I'd like to have a proper funeral for my dog, who died last night. Can you undertake this?
Priest: I'm sorry, we don't conduct funerals for pets. You can try the Christian church down the road - I think they perform dog funerals.
Farmer: All right. But do you think $25, 000 will be enough to cover their expenses for the service?
Priest: Why didn't you tell me the dog was Catholic?