Fountain Jokes

Satan tells them "Whoever can do the most horrible deed can go up to Heaven. But you must drink from this fountain to get back on Earth." So the first guy drinks from the fountain, goes to Earth and kills somebody. He comes back and tells Satan. The second man drinks from the fountain, goes to Earth and robs an orphanage. He goes back to Satan and tells him what he's done. Finally, Satan points to the third man and says "You may go to Heaven." The first man and the second man are both outraged. "How could you get any worse than what we did?" "Easy" said the third man, "I pissed in the fountain."

One Sunday morning a minister and a choirboy were getting the church ready for mass. The minister prepared his sermon while the choirboy filled the holy water fountain.
Suddenly, the choirboy burst into the minister's room and yelled, "father father, I just saw the most amazing thing! I filled the holy water fountain. Then a man came in on crutches. He moved to the fountain, dipped his left hand in the holy water, blessed himself and threw away his left crutch. Then he dipped his right hand in the holy water, blessed himself and threw away his right crutch. Then he turned to me... and he took a step forward"!
The minister was awe struck by what he just heard. "My boy, he said, you just witnessed a miracle from God! Where's this man now?"
The Choirboy replies...
"flat on his face in front of the holy water fountain"!

Some drink from the fountain of knowledge. He only gargled.

Some drink at the fountain of knowledge... Others just gargle.

Fountain Inn: Horses are to wear pants at all times.(South Carolina Dumb Laws)