Fought Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    [Original Author: Richard Lederer, St Paul's School]
    One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a
    student blooper in an essay. I have pasted together the following "history" of the world from certifiably
    genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eighth grade through
    college level. Read carefully, and you will learn a lot.
    The inhabitants of ancient Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by
    Camelot. The climate in the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so certain areas of
    the dessert are cultivated by irritation. The Egyptians built the pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular
    cube. The pyramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain.
    The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, Adam and Eve were
    created from an more...

    At the Henry Street Hebrew School, Mr. Goldblatt, the new teacher, finished the day's lesson. It was now time for the usual question period.
    "Mr. Goldblatt," announced little Joey, "there's somethin' I can't figure out."
    "What's that Joey?" asked Mr. Goldblatt.
    "Well accordin' to the Bible, the Children of Israel crossed the Red Sea, right?"
    "Right."
    "An' the Children of Israel beat up the Phillistines, right?"
    "Er - right."
    "An' the Children of Israel built the Temple, right?"
    "Again you're right."
    "An' the Children of Israel fought the 'gyptians, an' the Children of Israel fought the Romans, an' the Children of Israel wuz always doin' somethin' important, right?"
    "All that is right, too," agreed Mr. Goldblatt. "So what's your question?"
    "What I wanna know is this," asked Joey, "What wuz the grown-ups doin' more...

    At the Henry Street Hebrew School, Goldblatt, the new teacher, finished the day's lesson. It was now time for the usual question period.
    "Mr. Goldblatt," announced little Joey, "there's something I can't figure out."
    "What's that Joey?" asked Goldblatt.
    "Well accordin' to the Bible, the Children of Israel crossed the Red Sea, right?"
    "Right."
    "An' the Children of Israel beat up the Philistines, right?"
    "Er-right."
    "An' the Children of Israel built the Temple, right?"
    "Again you're right."
    "An' the Children of Israel fought the 'gyptians, an' the Children of Israel fought the Romans, an' the Children of Israel wuz always doin' somethin' important, right?"
    "All that is right, too," agreed Goldblatt. "So what's your question?"
    "What I wanna know is this," demanded Joey. "What wuz all the grown-ups doin"?

    At the Henry Street Hebrew School, Goldblatt, the new teacher, finished the day's lesson. It was now time for the usual question period."Mr. Goldblatt," announced little Joey, "there's somethin' I can't figger out.""What's that Joey?" asked Goldblatt."Well accordin' to the Bible, the Children of Israel crossed the Red Sea, right?""Right.""An' the Children of Israel beat up the Philistines, right?""Er--right.""An' the Children of Israel built the Temple, right?""Again you're right.""An' the Children of Israel fought the' gyptians, an' the Children of Israel fought the Romans, an' the Children of Israel wuz always doin' somethin' important, right?""All that is right, too," agreed Goldblatt. "So what's your question?" "What I wanna know is this," demanded Joey. "What wuz all the grown-ups doin"?

    Could Godzilla, the King of Monsters and Elvis, The King, be one and the same?
    Nickname:
    Godzilla: King of Monsters
    Elvis: King of Rock
    Year Career Started:
    Godzilla: 1954
    Elvis: 1954
    Species:
    Godzilla: Giant lizard
    Elvis: Giant lounge lizard
    Social Order:
    Godzilla: Hangs with freaks
    Elvis: Had (has?) Michael Jackson for son-in-law
    Famous bug battles:
    Godzilla: Fought giant caterpillar Mothra
    Elvis: Outlasted the Beatles
    Vocal quirks:
    Godzilla: Terrible dubbing of his movies
    Elvis: Never could lip-synch
    Eating habits:
    Godzilla: Would eat anything
    Elvis: Would eat anything fried
    Attire:
    Godzilla: Played by fat man in rubber suit
    Elvis: Was fat man in polyester suit
    Alien encounters:
    Godzilla: Traveled past Jupiter for Godzilla vs. Monster Zero
    Elvis: Was believed to be aboard alien spacecraft on Independence Day
    Crusades:
    Godzilla: Fought pollution in Godzilla vs. Smog more...

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