Questions and answers selected from tests in Springdale, Arkansas in 2000 to 16 year old students! (Don't laugh too hard - one of these may be the president someday.)
Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink. A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed? A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: What is a planet? A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans? A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections? A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets a election.
Q: What are steroids? A: more...
Bell Labs Proves Existence of Dark Suckers For years it has been believed that electric bulbs emitted light. However, recent information from Bell Labs has proven otherwise. Electricbulbs don't emit light, they suck dark. Thus they now call these bulbsdark suckers. The dark sucker theory, according to a Bell Labsspokesperson, proves the existence of dark, that dark has mass heavier thanthat of light, and that dark is faster than light. The basis of the dark sucker theory is that electric bulbs suck dark. Take for example, the dark suckers in the room where you are. There isless dark right next to them than there is elsewhere. The larger the darksucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark suckers in a parkinglot have a much greater capacity than the ones in this room. As with allthings, dark suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, theycan no longer suck. This is proven by the black spot on a full darksucker. A candle is a primitive dark sucker. lA new candle has more...
A sailor had been on his ship for months. When he finally docked the only thing he could think of was getting laid. So off he goes to find a bordello. When he finally found one he stopped, before going in to see how much money he had. To his dismay he only found five dollars in his pocket. He figures what the hell and goes in anyway. When he gets to the front desk he says to the madam "Please have pity on me it's been months since I've had a woman and I only have five dollars, is there anything you can do for me?" The madam thinks for a minute and says "I'll let you have Olga, she's the only one that will satisfy your needs for five bucks.". So Olga takes the sailor to a room and they start to get busy, but for some reason the sailor could not get it in. He asks her "did you take your panties off?" Olga tells him that she did but she knows what the problem is.She sits up on the side of the bed and starts messing with her pussy for a few seconds, she lays more...
One night when his charge was pretty high, Micro Farad decided to try to get a cute coil to let him discharge. He picked up Milli Amp and took her for a ride on his megacycle. They rode across Wheastone bridge, around the sine wave and stopped in a magnetic field by a flowing current.
Micro Farad, attracted by Millie's characteristic curves, decided to engage in a little mutual inductance, and soon had her resistance at a minimum and his field fully excited. He laid her on the ground potential, raised her frequency, lowered his capacitance, and pulled out his high voltage probe. He inserted it into her tank circuit, connecting them in parallel and began to short circuit her shunt.
Fully excited, Milli Amp cried, "MHO", MHO, it Hertz, but give me MHO".
With his tune operating at maximum amplitude, her coil vibrating from the current flow, they soon reached plate saturation and found their cutoff point. The heavy current flow made her tubes of anode very hot more...
Apple has already announced the next generation of their new IPad it's "MacsIPad with Wings" that will help to better manage your information flow.