Flicked Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Bad Conductor

    Hot 2 years ago

    The world's best and most famous conductor makes a small mistake while conducting the New York Symphony Orchestra. The audience didn't notice, the orchestra didn't notice either, but he knew he'd made the mistake and decided that he should retire. Once the performance had finished, he turned and faced the audience and said "Ladies and Gentleman, this is my last performance as a world class conductor. I'm now announcing my retirement."
    After a few minutes silence from the shocked audience, and orchestra too, he was greeted with boos and hisses. He walked from the stage, only to be met by his manager, standing in between two gorilla-sized bodyguards. "Oh no you don't", his manager said, "you're not retiring."
    Forced backed to work by his manager, he endured week after week of conducting he no longer wanted to do. While lying in bed one night with his wife of many years, he turned to her and said "Dear, would you be able to get me a small more...

    A chemist, a biologist and an electrical engineer were on death row waiting
    to go in the electric chair. The chemist was brought forward first.
    "Do you have anything you want to say?" asked the executioner,
    strapping him in.
    "No," replied the chemist. The executioner flicked the switch and
    nothing happened.
    Under this particular State's law, if an execution attempt fails, the
    prisoner is to be released, so the chemist was released.
    Then the biologist was brought forward.
    "Do you have anything you want to say?"
    "No, just get on with it."
    The executioner flicked the switch, and again nothing happened, so the
    biologist was released.
    Then the electrical engineer was brought forward.
    "Do you have anything you want to say?" asked the executioner.
    "Yes," replied the engineer. "If you swap the red and the blue wires over,
    you might make this thing work."

    A chemist, a biologist, and an electrical engineer were on death row waiting for the electric chair. The chemist was brought forward first.
    "Do you have anything you want to say?" asked the executioner, strapping him in.
    "No," replied the chemist. The executioner flicked the switch, and nothing happened.
    Under state law, if an execution attempt fails, the prisoner has to be released, so the chemist was released.
    Then the biologist was brought forward.
    "Do you have anything you want to say?"
    "No, just get on with it."
    The executioner flicked the switch, and again nothing happened, so the biologist was released.
    Then the electrical engineer was brought forward.
    "Do you have anything you want to say?" asked the executioner.
    "Yes," replied the engineer. "If you swap the red and the blue wires over, you might make this thing work."

    A chemist, a biologist and an electrical engineer were on death row waiting to go in the electric chair. The chemist was brought forward first. "Do you have anything you want to say?" asked the executioner, strapping him in. "No," replied the chemist. The executioner flicked the switch and nothing happened. Under State law, if an execution attempt fails, the prisoner is to be released, so the chemist was released. Then the biologist was brought forward. "Do you have anything you want to say?" "No, just get on with it." The executioner flicked the switch, and again nothing happened, so the biologist was released. Then the electrical engineer was brought forward. "Do you have anything you want to say?" asked the executioner. "Yes," replied the engineer. "If you swap the red and the blue wires over, you might make this thing work."

    There Were 3 People In An Aeroplane Which Had Crashed And They Were On A Deserted Island. One Man Was A Russian, The Other Was An American And The Third Was A Sardar(Sikh). They Found A Lamp And They Rubbed It. Out Came A Gin(Jinni). The Gini Said That I Give Each Of You A Wish That I Shall Fulfill After Which I Shall Not Help You. So They Said:
    American: Send Me Back Home Safely.
    So, The Gin Flicked His Finger And He (American) Vanished.
    Russian: Send Me Back Home Safely.
    So, The Gin Flicked His Finger And He (Russian) Vanished.
    Sardar: I Am Getting Bored Get Me My Friends Back. So The Gin Flicked His Finger And They Both Came Back.
    Now What Was Left To Do.
    They Were Stuck On The Island Forever.

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