Fiver Jokes

A man and his dog went into a pub. The barman said "Sorry mate no dogs allowed in here!" The dog said "Oh please dont be like that, Im trained and I wont cause any trouble!" The bar man was astonished at the talking dog and sat and chatted with the dog and its owner. After a while the owner went to the toilet and the barman saw his chance for a prank. He said to the dog "Would you do me a favor as a wind up, will you go down to my friends bakers shop and order a loaf of bread??" "Sure!" Replied the dog. The bar man gave the dog a fiver and the dog left. When the owner came out of the toilet he went into a panic when he saw his dog had gone. The barman said "Its ok hes gone down to the bakery for me" The owner was livid "It IS NOT OK hes never been out on his own, anything could happen to him he could get run over. The owner spent the next hour searching for his dog, walking the str eets frantically. As he was walking he heard more...

A man and his dog went into a pub. The barman said "Sorry mate no dogs allowed in here!" The dog said "Oh please don't be like that, I'm trained and I won't cause any trouble!" The bar man was astonished at the talking dog and sat and chatted with the dog and it's owner. After a while the owner went to the toilet and the barman saw his chance for a prank. He said to the dog "Would you do me a favor as a wind up, will you go down to my friends bakers shop and order a loaf of bread??" "Sure!" Replied the dog. The bar man gave the dog a fiver and the dog left. When the owner came out of the toilet he went into a panic when he saw his dog had gone. The barman said "It's ok he's gone down to the bakery for me" The owner was livid "It IS NOT OK he's never been out on his own, anything could happen to him he could get run over. The owner spent the next hour searching for his dog, walking the str eets frantically. As he was walking he more...

During the game, the batsman noticed that the splice was coming out of his bat. In his small village, he was at a loss where to take it to be repaired. Finally, he decided that the blacksmith might do the job and went along to ask.

'Splice coming loose, eh?' said the blacksmith.' I get a lot of you chaps in here. I'll have it fixed in a minute.'

He put the bat on the anvil, took an enormous hammer and gave it a mighty smash. The bat was as good as new.

'Marvellous!' enthused the batsman.' How much do I owe you?'

'Let's say a fiver, eh?'

'A fiver? All you did was hit it with a hammer.

'I'll make you out a bill,' said the blacksmith.

He scribbled on a piece of paper and handed it over. The batsman read: To hitting bat with hammer 10 pence. For knowing were to hit 4. 90 pounds.