Finland Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    The average person is about a quarter of an inch taller at night.
    [Another quarter inch doesn't impress most women.]
    A sneeze zooms out of your mouth at over 600 m. p. h.
    [Along with everything else in your mouth at the time.]
    The condom - made originally of linen - was invented in the early 1500s.
    [That same year men began asking, "Put that on my WHAT?"]
    The first known contraceptive was crocodile dung, used by Egyptians in 2000 B. C.
    [Does this explain Crocodile Dung Dee? ]
    Watch out for flying hockey pucks - they travel at up to 100 mph.
    [Stand clear or you'll get pucked.]
    America's first nudist organization was founded in 1929, by 3 men.
    [3 very lonely men.]
    98% of American drivers think they drive better than anyone else.
    [The other 2% are NY cab drivers who know better.]
    When he's feeling amorous, the male sea otter grabs the female's nose with his teeth.
    [When the female feel amorous, she grabs something more...

    +15°C / 59°F
    This is as warm as it gets in Finland, so we'll start here.
    People in Spain wear winter-coats and gloves.
    The Finns are out in the sun, getting a tan.
    +10°C / 50°F
    The French are trying in vain to start their central heating.
    The Finns plant flowers in their gardens.
    +5°C / 41°F
    Italian cars won't start,
    The Finns are cruising in cabriolets.
    0°C / 32°F
    Distilled water freezes.
    The water in Vantaa river (in Finland) gets a little thicker.
    -5°C / 23°F
    People in California almost freeze to death.
    The Finns have their final barbecue before winter.
    -10°C / 14°F
    The Brits start the heat in their houses.
    The Finns start using long sleeves.
    -20°C / -4°F
    The Aussies flee from Mallorca.
    The Finns end their Midsummer celebrations.
    Autumn is here.
    -30°C / -22°F
    People in Greece die from the cold and disappear from the face of the earth.
    The Finns start drying their more...

    +15°C / 59°F
    This is as warm as it gets in Finland, so we'll start here.
    People in Spain wear winter-coats and gloves.
    The Finns are out in the sun, getting a tan.
    +10°C / 50°F
    The French are trying in vain to start their central heating.
    The Finns plant flowers in their gardens.
    +5°C / 41°F
    Italian cars won't start,
    The Finns are cruising in cabriolets.
    0°C / 32°F
    Distilled water freezes.
    The water in Vantaa river (in Finland) gets a little thicker.
    -5°C / 23°F
    People in California almost freeze to death.
    The Finns have their final barbecue before winter.
    -10°C / 14°F
    The Brits start the heat in their houses.
    The Finns start using long sleeves.
    -20°C / -4°F
    The Aussies flee from Mallorca.
    The Finns end their Midsummer celebrations.
    Autumn is here.
    -30°C / -22°F
    People in Greece die from the cold and disappear from the face of the earth.
    The Finns start drying their more...

    The average person is about a quarter of an inch taller at night.[Another quarter inch doesn't impress most women.]A sneeze zooms out of your mouth at over 600 m. p. h.[Along with everything else in your mouth at the time.]The condom - made originally of linen - was invented in the early 1500s.[That same year men began asking, "Put that on my WHAT?" ]The first known contraceptive was crocodile dung, used by Egyptians in 2000 B. C.[Does this explain Crocodile Dung Dee?]Watch out for flying hockey pucks - they travel at up to 100 mph.[Stand clear or you'll get pucked.]America's first nudist organization was founded in 1929, by 3 men.[3 very lonely men.]98% of American drivers think they drive better than anyone else.[The other 2% are NY cab drivers who know better.]When he's feeling amorous, the male sea otter grabs the female's nose with his teeth.[When the female feel amorous, she grabs something else.]In 1681, the last dodo bird died.[He was 41 and his name was also Fred.]A more...

    The average person is about a quarter of an inch taller at night.
    [Another quarter inch doesn't impress most women.]
    A sneeze zooms out of your mouth at over 600 m. p. h.
    [Along with everything else in your mouth at the time.]
    The condom - made originally of linen - was invented in the early 1500s.
    [That same year men began asking, "Put that on my WHAT?"]
    The first known contraceptive was crocodile dung, used by Egyptians in 2000 B. C.
    [Does this explain Crocodile Dung Dee? ]
    Watch out for flying hockey pucks - they travel at up to 100 mph.
    [Stand clear or you'll get pucked.]
    America's first nudist organization was founded in 1929, by 3 men.
    [3 very lonely men.]
    98% of American drivers think they drive better than anyone else.
    [The other 2% are NY cab drivers who know better.]
    When he's feeling amorous, the male sea otter grabs the female's nose with his teeth.
    [When the female feel amorous, she grabs something more...

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