Filter Jokes

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    Philosophy 101

    Hot 6 years ago

    In ancient Greece, Socrates was reputed to hold knowledge in the highest esteem.

    One day an acquaintance met the great philosopher and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about your friend?"


    "Hold on a minute," Socrates replied. "Before telling me anything I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test."

    "Triple filter?"

    "That's right," Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about my friend, it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you're going to say.

    The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is absolutely true?

    "N o," the man said, "I actually just heard about it and..."

    "All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what more...

    Keep this in mind the next time you either hear or are about to repeat a rumor!
    In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was well known for his wisdom. One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance who said excitedly, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of our students?"
    "Wait a moment," Socrates replied. "Before telling me anything I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test."
    "Triple filter?"
    "That's right," Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about my student, it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you're going to say.. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"
    "No," the man said, "actually I just heard about it and..."
    "All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, more...

    MICROSOFT:' If G.M. had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got one-thousand miles to the gallon.'

    GENERAL MOTORS:' Perhaps, but if G.M. had developed technology the same way Microsoft has, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

    1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day. You would just accept this, repair the damage and drive on.

    2. Every time the lines were repainted on the road, you would have to buy a new car. You would accept this too.

    3. Occasionally, but most often during rush-hour or when you are running late, your car would just die on the freeway for no apparent reason. Again, you would just accept this, re-start, and drive on.

    4. Occasionally, executing a normal maneuver, such as a left turn, will cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart. In such cases you would have to reinstall the engine. 5. more...

    In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom.

    One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance that ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students called Plato?"

    Wait a moment," Socrates replied. "Before you tell me I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test".

    "What, Triple filter?"

    That's right," Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about my student, let's take a moment to filter what you're going to say.

    The first Filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"

    "No," the man said, "actually I just heard about it and..."

    "All right, all right" said Socrates. "So you don't really know whether it's true or not.

    Now let's try the second filter, the more...

    Oil Change instructions for Women:

    1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last oil change.
    2) Drink a cup of coffee.
    3) 15 minutes later write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.

    Money spent:
    Change $ 20. 00
    Coffee 1. 00
    Total $ 21. 00

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Oil Change instructions for Men:
    1) Go to auto parts store and write a check for $50. 00 for oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree.
    2) Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of taking it
    back to be recycled, dump in hole in back yard.
    3) Open a beer and drink it
    4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
    5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
    6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
    7) Place drain pan under engine.
    8) Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
    9) Give up and more...

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