Feller Jokes

A man from the city is out plowing his field and gets his tractor stuck in the wet ground. A farmer driving by stops his truck and walks to the fence to call over the city feller. You need a mule to plow such wet ground he says." Where can I buy one?" he is asked. Well, I just happened to have one for 100 dollars he says." I'll take him," says the other man as he counts out the money. I can't bring him over today. I don't work on Sunday morrow OK?" Sure." The next day the truck pulls up and the old farmer gets out. He says, "sorry, bad news." I went out after breakfeast and the mule was dead. The city feller says just give me my money back then." Can't, spent it already!""Well... unload the mule then." "What ya gonna do with him?" "Raffle him off!""Naw, ya cant raffle off a dead mule!""Just watch me us! City fellers know a few tricks." One month goes by and the city feller and farmer more...

A man from the city is out plowing his field and gets his tractor stuck in the wet ground. A farmer driving by stops his truck and walks to the fence to call over the city feller. You need a mule to plow such wet ground he says. "Where can I buy one?" he is asked. Well, I just happened to have one for 100 dollars he says. "I'll take him," says the other man as he counts out the money. I can't bring him over today. I don't work on Sunday morrow OK? "Sure." The next day the truck pulls up and the old farmer gets out. He says, "sorry, bad news." I went out after breakfeast and the mule was dead. The city feller says just give me my money back then. "Can't, spent it already!" "Well... unload the mule then." "What ya gonna do with him?" "Raffle him off!" "Naw, ya cant raffle off a dead mule!" "Just watch me us! City fellers know a few tri cks." One month goes by and the city feller and more...

'Twas the Night After Christmas
by Jeff Foxworthy
'Twas the night after Christmas and all through the trailer,
the beer had gone flat and the pizza was staler.
The tube socks hung empty, no candies or toys,
and I was camped out on my old Lay-Z-Boy.
The kids they weren't talking to me or my wife,
the worst Christmas they said they had had in their lives.
My wife couldn't argue and neither could I,
so I watched TV and my wife, she just cried.
When out in the yard the dog started barkin',
I stood up and looked and I saw Sheriff Larkin.
He yelled, "Roy I am sworn to uphold the laws
and I got a complaint here from a feller named Claus."
I said, "Claus, I don't know nobody named Claus,
and you ain't taking me in without probable cause."
Then the Sheriff he said, "The man was shot at last night."
I said, "That might have been me, just what's he look like?"
The Sheriff replied, more...

A keen country lad dressed up in his only Sunday-go-to-meetin' suit, took the bus into the Big City and applied for a salesman's job at the big city department store. In fact it was the biggest store in the entire world - you could literally buy *anything* there. "So tell me," the boss asked him, "have you ever been a salesman before?"
"Sure have," said the lad, "I was the best salesman in the county back home!"
The boss liked the cut of him and said, "Well, OK: you can start tomorrow and I'll come and see you when we close up the store."
The day was long and arduous for the young man, but finally 5 PM came around, and the boss came by and asked him: "Well, how many sales did you make today, young man?"
"Oh, just one," said the young salesman.
"Only ONE?" blurted his boss. "Most of my staff can make 20 or 30 sales a day! OK, OK, so how much was the sale worth?"
"Well, more...

'Twas the Night After Christmas'Twas the night after Christmas and all through the trailer, the beer had gone flat and the pizza was staler. The tube socks hung empty, no candies or toys and I was camped out on my old Lay-Z-Boy. The kids they weren't talking to me or my wife, the worst Christmas they said they had had in their lives. My wife couldn't argue and neither could I, so I watched TV and my wife, she just cried. When out in the yard the dog started barkin', I stood up and looked and I saw Sheriff Larkin. He yelled, "Roy I am sworn to uphold the laws and I got a complaint here from a feller named Claus." I said, "Claus, I don't know nobody named Claus, and you ain't taking me in without probable cause." Then the Sheriff he said, "The man was shot at last night." I said, "That might have been me, just what's he look like." The Sheriff replied, "Well he's a jolly old feller, with a big beer gut belly, that shakes when he laughs like a more...