Fare Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A cabbie is driving by the Empire State Building
    one day when he's flagged down by a fellow with a neat
    moustache, wearing a bowler hat and carrying an umbrella.
    The fellow gets into the cab.
    "Where to?" asks the cabbie.
    "Trafalgar Square, if you please," replies the fare
    in a clipped English public-school accent.
    The cabbie doesn't bat an eyelash. "That's
    fifty-percent extra for out-of-town trips," he says, "and
    ya gotta pay all tolls an' ferry fares."
    "Very well," replies the English gentleman, and so
    off they go. The cabbie drives to Kennedy International,
    arranges the trip to London, and drives his cab into the
    hold of a huge auto-transport plane. All the way across
    the Atlantic they fly, the meter running all the while.
    (Fifteen cents per sixty seconds not in motion, you know.)
    When they arrive at Heathrow they disembark, and the cabbie
    drives to Trafalgar more...

    A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said, "MAN, That is the ugliest baby I've EVER seen!"
    In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. She fumed for a few stops and started getting really worked up.
    The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong.
    "The bus driver insulted me!" she fumed.
    The man sympathized and said, "Hey! He's a public servant and he shouldn't say things to insult the passengers."
    "You're right!" she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind."
    "That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey!"

    A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said, "MAN, That is the ugliest baby I've EVER seen!"In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. She fumed for a few stops and started getting really worked up.The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong."The bus driver insulted me!" she fumed.The man sympathized and said, "Hey! He's a public servant and he shouldn't say things to insult the passengers.""You're right!" she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind.""That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey!"

    A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The busdriver said: "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen." In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong.
    "The bus driver insulted me," she fumed.
    The man sympathized and said "Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't say things to insult passengers."
    "You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind."
    "That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."

    A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said, "Wow! That's the ugliest baby I've EVER seen!"

    In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. She fumed for a few stops and started getting really worked up. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong.

    "The bus driver insulted me!" she fumed.

    The man sympathized and said, "Hey! He's a public servant and he shouldn't say things to insult the passengers."

    "You're right!" she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind."

    "That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your baby monkey!"

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