Facelift Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    The facelift - 2
    Morris decides to have a facelift for his birthday. He spends £5,000 at Bushey hospital and feels really good about the result. But would others see how good he looked? So he thought he would put this to the test. On his way home, he stops off at Brent Cross shopping centre. He first of all goes into Smiths, buys a newspaper and says to the girl behind the cash desk, "I hope you don`t mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"
    "About 35," came the reply.
    "I`m actually 47," Morris says, feeling really happy.
    Then he goes into Fenwicks for lunch and asks the waitress the same question, to which the reply is, "Oh you look about 29 ".
    "I am actually 47." This makes him feel really good.
    In the car park on the way out, Morris meets two elderly ladies and asks them the same question. One of them winks to the other and replies, "I can’t really tell. I am 70 years old and my eyesight more...

    A facelift experience!

    Hot 2 years ago

    A lady goes to the doctor to see about getting a facelift.
    "Well," says the doctor, "I can do the facelift, and then you'll have to come back in six months for a follow-up."
    "Oh, no." the woman replies. "I want it all done in one shot. I don't want to have to come back."
    The doctor thinks for a second, then offers, "There is a new procedure where we put a screw in the top of your head. Then anytime you see wrinkles appearing, you just give it a little turn, which pulls the skin up and they disappear."
    "That's what I want!" exclaims the lady. "Let's do that." Six months later the lady charges into the doctor's office.
    "Well, how's the procedure holding up?" the doctor asks. "Terrible!" the lady bellows. "It's the worst mistake I've ever made."
    "What's wrong?" asks the doctor. "Just look at these bags under my eyes!" she more...

    A lady goes to the doctor to see about getting a facelift. "Well," says the doctor, "I can do the facelift, and then you'll have to come back in six months for a follow-up."
    "Oh, no." the woman replies. "I want it all done in one shot. I don't want to have to come back."
    The doctor thinks for a second, then offers, "There is a new procedure where we put a screw in the top of your head. Then anytime you see wrinkles appearing, you just give it a little turn, which pulls the skin up, and they disappear."
    "That's what I want!" exclaims the lady. "Let's do that."
    Six months later the lady charges into the doctor's office.
    "Well, how's the procedure holding up?" the doctor asks.
    "Terrible!" the lady bellows. "It's the worst mistake I've ever made."
    "What's wrong?" asks the doctor.
    "Just look at these bags under my eyes!" she more...

    A lady goes to the doctor to see about getting a facelift. "Well," says the doctor, "I can do the facelift, and then you'll have to come back in six months for a follow-up." "Oh, no." The woman replies. "I want it all done in one shot. I don't want to have to come back." The doctor thinks for a second, then offers, "There is a new procedure where we put a screw in the top of your head. Then anytime you see wrinkles appearing, you just give it a little turn, which pulls the skin up, and they disappear." "That's what I want!" Exclaims the lady. "Let's do that." Six months later the lady charges into the doctor's office. "Well, how's the procedure holding up?" The doctor asks. "Terrible!" The lady bellows. "It's the worst mistake I've ever made." "What's wrong?" Asks the doctor. "Just look at these bags under my eyes!" She hollers. "Lady," the doctor retorts, more...

    A lady goes to the doctor to see about getting a facelift.
    "Well," says the doctor, "I can do the facelift, and then you'll have to come back in six months for a follow-up."
    "Oh, no." the woman replies. "I want it all done in one shot. I don't want to have to come back."
    The doctor thinks for a second, then offers, "There is a new procedure where we put a screw in the top of your head. Then anytime you see wrinkles appearing, you just give it a little turn, which pulls the skin up, and they disappear."
    "That's what I want!" exclaims the lady. "Let's do that."
    Six months later the lady charges into the doctor's office. "Well, how's the procedure holding up?" the doctor asks.
    "Terrible!" the lady bellows. "It's the worst mistake I've ever made."
    "What's wrong?" asks the doctor.
    "Just look at these bags under my eyes!" she more...

  • Recent Activity