Explode Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    1. It is always possible to find a parking spot directly outside or opposite the building you are visiting.
    2. When paying for a taxi, don`t look at your wallet as you take out a note. Just grab one out at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
    3. Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at the precise moment it`s aired.
    4. Creepy music (or satanic chanting) coming from a graveyard should always be closely investigated.
    5. Any lock can be picked with a credit card or paperclip in seconds. UNLESS it`s the door to a burning building with a child inside.
    6. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
    7. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red digital displays so you know exactly when they are going to explode.
    8. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to learn to speak German. more...

    (Outdated, but still fun.)
    DOS Beer
    Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read the
    directions carefully before opening the can. Originally only came in an 8-oz.
    can, but now comes in a 16-oz. can. However, the can is divided into 8
    compartments of 2 oz. each, which have to be accessed separately. Soon to be
    discontinued, although a lot of people are going to keep drinking it after it's
    no longer available.
    Mac Beer
    At first, came only a 16-oz. can, but now comes in a 32-oz. can. Considered
    by many to be a "light" beer. All the cans look identical. When you take one
    from the fridge, it opens itself. The ingredients list is not on the can. If you
    call to ask about the ingredients, you are told that "you don't need to know." A
    notice on the side reminds you to drag your empties to the trashcan.
    Windows 3.1 Beer
    The world's most popular. Comes in a 16-oz. can that looks a more...

    If operating systems were beer
    DOS Beer:
    Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read the directions carefully before opening the can. Originally only came in an 8-oz. can, but now comes in a 16-oz. can. However, the can is divided into 8 compartments of 2 oz. each, which have to be accessed separately. Soon to be discontinued, although a lot of people are going to keep drinking it after it's no longer available.
    Mac Beer:
    At first, came only a 16-oz. can, but now comes in a 32-oz. can. Considered by many to be a "light" beer. All the cans look identical. When you take one from the fridge, it opens itself. The ingredients list is not on the can. If you call to ask about the ingredients, you are told that "you don't need to know." A notice on the side reminds you to drag your empties to the trashcan.
    Windows 3.1 Beer:
    The world's most popular. Comes in a 16-oz. can that looks a lot like Mac Beer's. Requires that you more...

    DOS Beer
    Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you
    to read the directions carefully before opening the can.
    Originally only came in an 8-oz. can, but now comes in a
    16-oz. can. However, the cans are divided into 8 compartments
    of 2 oz. each, which have to be accessed separately. Soon
    to be discontinued, although a lot of people are going to
    keep drinking it after it's no longer available.
    Mac Beer
    At first, came only in a 16-oz. can, but now comes in a 32-oz.
    can. Considered by many to be a "light" beer. All the cans
    look identical. When you take one from the fridge, it opens
    itself. The ingredients list is not on the can. If you call
    to ask about the ingredients, you are told that "you don't
    need to know." A notice on the side reminds you to drag your
    empties to the trashcan.
    Windows 3.1 Beer
    The world's most popular. Comes in a 16-oz. can that looks a
    lot like a Mac Beer's more...

    DOS Beer: Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read the directions carefully before opening the can. Originally only came in an 8-oz. can, but now comes in a 16-oz. can. However, the can is divided into 8 compartments of 2 oz. each, which have to be accessed separately. Soon to be discontinued, although a lot of people are going to keep drinking it after it's no longer available.
    Mac Beer: At first, came only a 16-oz. can, but now comes in a 32-oz. can. Considered by many to be a "light" beer. All the cans look identical. When you take one from the fridge, it opens itself. The ingredients list is not on the can. If you call to ask about the ingredients, you are told that "you don't need to know." A notice on the side reminds you to drag your empties to the trashcan.
    Windows 3. 1 Beer: The world's most popular. Comes in a 16-oz. can that looks a lot like Mac Beer's. Requires that you already own a DOS Beer. Claims that it allows you more...

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