Exception Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    * The term "bank teller" originated in the wake of the 1929 stock market crash, when banks began hiring low-paid workers to "tell" throngs of frantic depositors that their money was gone.

    * Scandinavian berserkers used to cut out their eyes before battle to spare themselves the sight of the carnage they invariably wrought.

    * The city of Slaughter, Texas (population: 11, 284), has never had a homicide occur within its boundaries.

    * Rubbing Tabasco on one's upper lip before bedtime is an effective temporary cure for sleep apnea.

    * British pop singer Baby Spice is the great-great-great-great-great-great-grandniece of Archduke William Pinkley-Hogue of Standishfordshire, making her 103rd in line for the throne of England.

    * Moths are unable to fly during an earthquake.

    * When in heat, female hippopotami secrete an oil with a flavor similar to strawberries. Kalahari bushmen use the oil to make flat-bread more...

    I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.

    I`m a vegetarian but I`d make an exception for your meat!

    If Wile Coyote had enough money for all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
    If there's an exception to every rule, is there an exception to that rule?
    Why do we leave expensive cars in the driveway, when we keep worthless junk in the garage?
    Why do they call it taking a dump? Shouldn't it be leaving a dump?
    Why is it good to be a Daddy's girl, but bad to be a Momma's boy?
    Aren't you tired of people asking you rhetorical questions and you don't know if they are rhetorical questions or not?
    If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?
    Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car, he sticks his head out the window!
    If quitters never win, and winners never quit, who came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
    If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

    I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in my cellar and was told by my wife to empty the contents of each and every bottle down the sink, or else... I said I would and proceeded with the unpleasant task.

    I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink with the exception of one glass, which I drank.

    I then withdrew the cork from the second bottle and did likewise with it, with the exception of one glass, which I drank.

    I then withdrew the cork from the third bottle and poured the whiskey down the sink which I drank.

    I pulled the cork from the fourth bottle down the sink and poured the bottle down the glass, which I drank.

    I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of it, and threw the rest down the glass.

    I pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork down the bottle.

    Then I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink and drank the more...

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