Excellent Jokes

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    Golf For Sex

    Hot 3 years ago

    A man out playing golf slices off into the woods. When he goes to
    find the ball he discovers a witch (hat and all) stirring a
    cauldron. So out of curiosity he asks her what she is brewing.
    "A magic potion" she replies.
    "Well what does it for" he asks. "This potion will make anyone an
    excellent golfer."
    At this he gets really excited and asks if he can have some. She is
    agreeable but warns him that it will have dire consequences on his
    sex life.
    After a short period of soul searching he decides to try the potion.
    He goes back to the golf course and completes an excellent game of
    golf. Next he challenges the golf pro and beats him easily. He
    spends every possible moment of the next year playing golf at every
    course he manage to get to and having a wonderful time of it. After
    a year he finds himself back at the same course where he found the
    witch. Out of curiosity he slices one into the woods so he more...

    Money is an excellent servant, but a horrible master.

    Smart CEO

    Hot 2 years ago

    A young executive was leaving the office at 6pm when he found the CEO (Chief Executive Officer) standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in hand.
    "Listen," said the CEO, "this is important, and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?"
    "Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.
    "Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy."

    Student: J. Christ Form: III Term: 1
    SubjectGradeTeacher's Comment
    To the question "Who made the world?" persisted in answering 'My
    dad'. Claims bible originated from the same source.
    Tends to speak and write in archaic forms and uses outmoded
    figures of speech.
    History A
    Excellent pupil of ancient and Religious History.
    Geography C-
    Assignment on 'Hot, dry lands' was excellent, but shows little
    interest in the rest. In geology, keeps talking about the Rock of
    Ages instead of the ages of Rock.
    Social StudiesB+
    Shows keen interest in social issues.
    Lacks basics. Keeps muttering about 'Three in one' and 'I and
    the father are one'.
    General ScienceD
    Lacks disipline - e.g., when asked to repeat the experiment for
    making hydrogen, claimed he knew a better way.
    Graphic CommunicationD
    Prefers to draw with a stick in the sand to pencil more...

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    •Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.
    •Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory
    •Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at more...

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