Excellency Jokes

After watching sales falling off for three straight months at Kentucky Fried Chicken, the Colonel calls up the Pope and asks for a favor.
The Pope says, ''What can I do?''
The Colonel says, ''I need you to change the daily prayer from, 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken'. If you do it, I'll donate 10 Million Dollars to the Vatican.''
The Pope replies, ''I am sorry. That is the Lord's prayer and I can not change the words.''
So the Colonel hangs up. After another month of dismal sales, the Colonel panics, and calls again.
''Listen your Excellency. I really need your help. I'll give you $50 million dollars if you change the words of the daily prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken.'''
And the Pope responds, ''It is very tempting, Colonel Sanders. The church could do a lot of good with that much money. It would help us support many charities. But, again, I must decline. It is the more...

Mr Boris Yeltsin, the President of Russia, Mr Bill Clinton, the President of USA, and Mr Ernesto Zedillo, the President of Mexico were together in France in a restaurant.
The captain, honoured by such distinguished presence, approached them and asked politicly,' Le aperitif?'
All of them answered,' Oui.'
He then proceeded to ask their preferences individually. Starting with His Excellency Ernesto Zedillo, he queried,' Le tequila?'
'Oui,' answered His Excellency.
The captain looked at Mr Boris Yeltsin, and asked,' Le vodka?'
'Oui,' answered the President of Russia.
Finally, the captain approached the President of USA and asked, lLe whisky?'
'Don't mention that b....,' reacted Bill Clinton sharply.

Source unknown.
This bishop invites a young priest over for dinner. During the meal,
the priest can't help noticing how attractive and shapely the
housekeeper is. Over the course of the evening he starts to wonder if
there's more between the bishop and the housekeeper than meets the eye.
Reading the young priest's thoughts, the bishop volunteers, "I know what
you must be thinking, but I assure you, my relationship with my
housekeeper is purely professional."
About a week later the housekeeper comes to the bishop and says,
"Excellency, ever since the young Father came to dinner, I've been
unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose he
took it, do you?"
The bishop says, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write him a letter just to
be sure." So he sits down and writes: "Dear Father, I'm not saying that
you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did
not' more...

After watching sales falling off for three straight months at Kentucky Fried Chicken, the Colonel calls up the Pope and asks for a favor.
The Pope says, "What can I do?"
The Colonel says, "I need you to change the daily prayer from, 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken'. If you do it, I'll donate 10 Million Dollars to the Vatican."
The Pope replies, "I am sorry. That is the Lord's prayer and I can not change the words."
So the Colonel hangs up. After another month of dismal sales, the Colonel panics, and calls again.
"Listen your Excellency. I really need your help. I'll give you $50 million dollars if you change the words of the daily prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken.'"
And the Pope responds, "It is very tempting, Colonel Sanders. The church could do a lot of good with that much money. It would help us support many charities. more...

Chandrika: I considered you as a freedom fighter, the moment I read,
“HARD HARD ONE IS THE BIG BIG GOOD ONE(to be
circulated)” Written by you to the infolanka joke page.

Chandrika: Please show me how to bring a political change in Sri Lanka.
ULTRA MICROS: Your Excellency, its this New Constitution.
Chandrika: Will People Support Me.
ULTRA MICROS: Its Foolishness if they don’t do so.
ULTRA MICROS: Your Excellency, good luck to you.

ULTRA MICRO CONSTITUTION OF THE DEMOCRATIC SOCIALIST REPUBLIC OF SRI LANKA.
Section 1
Democratic Socialist Republic of Sri Lanka is an unitary
State Which Is Comprised of 24 Key Administrative District
Councils and There Sub Councils.
Section 2
All Laws relating to Citizenship, Matrimony, Inheritance and
Succession shall be governed by The General Law.
Section 3
English, Sinhala and Tamil shall be Official Languages.
Section 4
There shall be The more...