Escaped Jokes

Several dozen brunette, redhead, and blonde guys were facing execution via firing squad. The firing squad took the brunettes first, and the leader said "Ready, aim... " at which point the brunettes yelled "Earthquake!!!".
The firing squad looked around anxiously and while they were trying to figure out whether there was an earthquake or not, the brunette guys all took off and escaped. Undaunted, the firing squad took the redheads next, and the leader again said "Ready, aim... " at which point the redheads
yelled "Tornado!!!".
The firing squad looked around anxiously and while they were trying to figure out which direction the tornado was coming from, the redhead guys all took off and escaped. The firing squad took the blonde guys last, and by now the blondes had it all figured out; when the right time came just yell out the name of some natural disaster. So when the firing squad leader said "Ready, aim... ", the blonde guys more...

There were three girls that commited a crime, so they were going to get executed. There was a red head, brunette, and a blonde. The brunette was up first. The police officer said, " Ready, Set... "
" Tornado! Tornado! " yelled the girl. Everyone looked around, but to their surprise, there was no tornado, so the brunette escaped. Next was the red head. After seeing what the brunette had done, she did the same. " Ready, Set... "
" Hurricane! Hurricane! " yelled the red head. But there was no hurricane, so she too escaped. Finally was the blonde. " Ready, Set... " said the police officer." Fire! Fire! "

A man escapes from a prison where he had been kept for 15 years.
As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it, looking for money and guns, but only finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him up in a chair. While tying the girl up to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses her
on the neck, then gets up, and goes to the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband tells his wife, "Listen, this guy is an escaped prisoner, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail, and hasn't seen a woman in years.
I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, just do what he tells you, just give him satisfaction.
This guy must be dangerous, if he gets angry, he'll kill us.
Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which the wife responds, "He was not kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear.
He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked if we kept any Vaseline in the more...

One day a brunette, redhead, and blonde joined the army as spies. They were captured together and set up against a wall to be shot seperately. The General said they had one last word they could say before they were shot by his men with their guns ready.
The brunette yelled out "Earthquake!!!" and everyone fled to their barracks and she escaped.
The redhead yelled out "Tornadoe!!!" and everyone fled to their barracks and she escaped.
The Blonde after seeing these things happen yelled out "Fire!!!" - and was shot on the spot.

An escaped convict, imprisoned for 1st degree murder, had spent 25 years of his life sentence in prison. While on the run, he broke into a house and tied up a young couple who had been sleeping in the bedroom. He tied the man to a chair on one side of the room and his wife on the bed. He got on the bed right over the woman, and it appeared he was kissing her neck.
Suddenly he got up and left the room. As soon as possible the husband made his way across the room to his bride, his chair in tow, and whispered, "Honey, this guy hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw him kissing on your neck and then he left in a hurry. Just cooperate and do anything he wants. If he wants to have sex with you, just go along with it and pretend you like it. Whatever you do don't fight him or make him mad. Our lives depend on it!. Be strong and I love you."
After spitting out the gag in her mouth, the half naked wife says:
"Dear, I'm so relieved you feel that way. You're right, he more...