# Equation Jokes

## L. organized the seminar in hydrodynamics in his U...

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L. organized the seminar in hydrodynamics in his University. Among the regular attendees there were two men in the uniform, obviously military engineers. They never discussed the problems they were working on. But one day they ask L. to help with a math. problem. They explained that the solution of a certain equation oscillated and asked how they should change the coefficients to make it monotonic. L. looked on the equation and said: "Make the wings longer!"

A shoeseller meets a mathematician and complains that he does not know what size shoes to buy. "No problem," says the mathematician, "there is a simple equation for that," and he shows him the Gaussian normal distribution. The shoeseller stares some time at het equation and asks, "What is that symbol?" "That is the Greek letter pi." "What is pi?" "That is the ratio between the circumference and the diameter of a circle." Upon this the shoeseller cries out: "What does a circle have to do with shoes?!"

## A treatise on money and power

After applying some simple algebra to some common phrases and cliches, a new understanding can be reached of the secret of wealth and success.
Here it goes.
(K)nowledge is (P)ower
(T)ime is (M)oney, and as every engineer knows,
(P)ower is (W)ork over (T)ime.
So, substituting algebraic equations for these time-worn bits of wisdom, we get:
K = P (1)
T = M (2)
P = W/T (3)
Now, do a few simple substitutions:
Put W/T in for P in equation (1), which yields:
K = W/T (4)
Put M in for T into equation (4), which yields:
K = W/M (5).
Now we've got something. Expanding back into English, we get:
Knowledge equals Work over Money.
What this MEANS is that:
1. The More You Know, the More Work You Do,
and
2. The More You Know, the Less Money You Make.
Solving for Money, we get:
M = W/K (6)
Money equals Work Over Knowledge.
From equation (6) we see that Money approaches infinity as Knowledge approaches 0, more...

## Dilbert's

Dilbert's "Salary Theorem" states that "Engineers and scientists can never earn as much as business executives and sales people."
This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates:
Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power. Postulate 2: Time is Money.
As every engineer knows: Power = Work / Time
And since: Knowledge = Power And: Time = Money, It is therefore true that Knowledge = Work / Money Solving this equation for Money, we get: Money = Work / Knowledge
Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of Work done.
Conclusion: The less you know, the more you make.

## Dilbert's

Dilbert's "Salary Theorem" states that "Engineers and scientists can never earn as much as business executives and sales people."This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates:Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power. Postulate 2: Time is Money.As every engineer knows: Power = Work / TimeAnd since: Knowledge = Power And: Time = Money, It is therefore true that Knowledge = Work / Money Solving this equation for Money, we get: Money = Work / KnowledgeThus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of Work done.Conclusion: The less you know, the more you make.