Episode Jokes

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    Dr. Seuss Episode of ER

    Hot 5 months ago

    Kerry: Now Mark, I think this ER's great,
    But... there are problems that can't wait!
    Now Benton's fine, and Carter too,
    But Ross and Susan just won't do!
    Now who do you think that we should hire,
    Since both of them today I'll fire?
    Mark: Kerry, maybe we should wait and see...
    Kerry: That's great Mark! I knew you would agree...
    Jerry: Dr. Weaver? Sorry to interrupt...
    But the paramedics just pulled up.
    Mark: Ok, I'm here. What have you got?
    Shep: This little boy has just been shot!
    His pulse is faint, his breath is weak.
    We did all we could to stop the leak.
    Riley: And this woman here, she has a broken hip...
    Carol: How did she fall? How did she trip?
    Shep: The kid's mom was getting in my hair,
    So I shoved her-lightly-down some stairs.
    Mark: Benton, Kerry! Take the mom to three!
    Doug and Susan! Come with me!
    Riley: But wait, but wait! Oh don't you see?
    We've more...

    The Enterprise runs into a mysterious energy field of a type that it has
    encountered several times before.
    The Enterprise goes to check up on a remote outpost of scientists, who
    are all perfectly all right.
    The Enterprise comes across a Garden-of-Eden-like planet called Paradise,
    where everyone is happy all the time. However, everything is soon revealed
    to be exactly as it seems.
    The crew of the Enterprise discover a totally new lifeform, which later
    turns out to be a rather well-known old lifeform, wearing a silly hat.
    The crew of the Enterprise are struck by a strange alien plague, for
    which the cure is found in the well-stocked sick-bay.
    An enigmatic being composed of pure energy attempts to interface to
    the Enterprise's computer, only to find out that it has forgotten to
    bring the right leads.
    A power surge on the Bridge is rapidly and correctly diagnosed as a
    faulty capacitor by the highly-trained and competent more...

    Prominent blacks have condemned as racist an episode of "Where My Dogs At?", an animated show on MTV2. The episode depicts Snoop Doggy Dogg walking into a pet store leading two black women on leashes. One of them then defecates on the floor. I don't get it. How is that racist? Were there watermelon seeds in it?

    According to a TV Guide poll, Charlie Sheen is the highest paid actor on prime time televison--earning $825,000 per episode. This means LA call girls are now the highest paid prostitutes in the counrtry--earning over $1,000 per "episode."

    Top 10 Ways To Shut Up A Non-Trek Girlfriend Without Killing Her10. Tell her "Your ears canna stan the strain!" 9. Vulcan Neck Pinch. 8. Have an Android made of her then when she starts speaking tell her to "Shut Up!" (See, "I, Mudd" - TOS episode). 7. Wave Phaser in her face and tell her you will stun her with it. 6. Use transporter to split her into two separate personalities. Phaser Evil Girlfriend and keep Good Girlfriend. (See, "The Enemy Within" - TOS episode). 5. Tell her your watching the episode where Picard gets naked. 4. Ask if she wants to see the Picard Maneuver. 3. Try, "Computer - End Program." 2. Tell her she's in violation of the Prime Directive and she is interfering with a lesser developed civilization. 1. Borg her.

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