Encourage Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q. What does that red dot on women's forehead mean?
A. Well, in ancient times, Indian men used to practice
archery
by aiming for the red dot on their wife's forehead.
In fact,
this is one of the reasons why they had many wives.

Q. You're from India, aren't you? I have read so much
about
the country. All the wonderful places, the forests,
the
snake charmers, the elephants. Do you still use
elephants
for transportation?
A. Absolutely. In fact we used to have our own
elephant. But
later to save air, we started elephant-pooling with
our
neighbors, You see elephants have an "emissions"
problem.....

Q. Does India have cars?
A. No. We ride elephants to work. The government is
trying to
encourage elephant-pooling schemes.

Q. Does India have TV?
A. No. We only have cable.

Q. Are all Indians vegetarian?
A. Yes. Even the tigers are more...

The autobiography of a former Japanese porn actress has become the latest craze amongst teenage girls in Taiwan. Platonic Sex has sold 70, 000 copies since it hit the shops in December and discusses Ai Iijima's childhood, the sex industry and her move into acting and writing. But despite proving popular with teenagers, Taiwanese women's groups fear the book may encourage girls to enter the sex industry. One campaigner, Tang Li-yen of the Women and Children Protection Foundation, said: "It would encourage our young people to learn from Ms Iijima." But many teenagers say they admire 28-year-old Ai Iijima's open attitude to sex and find her eventful life inspiring. Veronic Hsieh, a 17-year-old student, has told the: "I want to know how a former porn actress like her can finally find her way back to the right path and lead a normal life."

To help the new wave of incoming students from India, here are the proper answers to awkward questions asked everyday: Q. What does that red dot on women's forehead mean? A. Well, in ancient times, Indian men used to practice archery skills by target practicing by aiming at their wife's red dot. In fact, that is one of the reasons why they had many wives. You see, once they mastered the art of archery and hit the target.... Q. You're from India? I have read so much about the country. All the wonderful places, the forests, the snake charmers, the elephants. Do you still use elephants for transportation? A. Absolutely. In fact we used to have our own elephant in our house. But later, we started participating in elephant-ride sharing schemes with our neighbors, to save the air. You see elephants have an "emissions" problem..... Q. Does India have cars? A. No. We ride elephants to work. The government is trying to encourage ride-sharing schemes. Q. Does India have TV? A. No. We more...

Picard's female officers think the captain's "log" is some kind
of wimpy electronic journal.
Ever see Kirk wearing a freakin' jumpsuit?
Picard never met Joan Collins, but if he did, he still couldn't
get any.
Kirk never straightened out his shirt when he stood up.
Kirk's name is hated throughout the galaxy.
There was no Klingon word for "defeat" - until they met Kirk.
Picard lets the chief of security wear a ponytail.
One question: what would Kirk have done if he saw a female doctor
bending over the operating table?
How they react to cute, cuddly creatures on the bridge?
Picard: Encourage science officer to adopt one.
Kirk: Beam their cute, cuddly, little butts aboard Klingon ship.
How they would react to Deanna's mother?
Picard: Embarrassed tolerance.
Kirk: Bribe Q to time-travel her butt to the Ceti-Alpha system, and let her read
Kahn's mind for a while.
How they spend their captain's more...

Aussies: Believe you should look out for your mates.
Brits: Believe that you should look out for those people who belong to your club.
Americans: Believe that people should look out for and take care of themselves.
Canadians: Believe that that's the government's job.
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Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad.
Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when abroad.
Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad.
Brits: Can't possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad.
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Americans: Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box.
Canadians: Don't, but only because they can't get more American channels.
Brits: Pay a tax just so they can watch 5 channels.
Aussies: Export all their crappy programs, which no one there watches, to Britain, where everybody loves them.
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Americans: Love to watch sports on the idiot box.
Brits: Love to watch sports in stadiums so more...