Emily Jokes / Recent Jokes

Little Emily, the minister's daughter, ran into the house, crying as though her heart would break."What's wrong, dear?" asked the pastor."My doll! Billy broke it!" she sobbed."How did he break it, Emily?""I hit him over the head with it."

Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911operator told Bubba that she would send someone outright away."Where do you live?" asked the operator. Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?"There was a long pause and finally Bubba said,"How' bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and youpick her up there?"

Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911operator told Bubba that she would send someone outright away." Where do you live?" asked the operator. Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive." The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?" There was a long pause and finally Bubba said,"How' bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and youpick her up there?"

My friend Liz, her two kids (Kelli, age four and Emily, age two), and I often go out to eat at the two Chinese Restaurants in town. Liz and I always get a laugh at Emily's fortunes because they are always meant for adults. For example, here are two of the fortunes that Emily got: You are the star in the sky of someone's romantic eye. (or something like that) A magical evening awaits you. Once I got a fortune with a typo. It read: You will step on the soil of amny countries. (instead of many).

A woman took her 6-year-old daughter to pick out some fish at the pet store. While there, they walked past the caged cats, and little Emily got curious.
"Mommy, mommy! I wanna look at the kitties."
So they went over to them. Little Emily looked at each pair of cats in each cage, they were set up into pairs of cat species that got along with each other. Little Emily pointed at each cage and asked her mom what the name of each species was.
"Mommy, what's that?" she asked.
"Why, that's a Himalayan."
"What about THAT one?"
"That's a Persian."
And so it went on. When she reached the last cage, little Emily noticed that one of the cats was on top of each other. Pointing to the one on top, she asked "Mommy, what's that one?"
"A Tabby,"
"What are they doing?"
After thinking for a second, the mother said, "Well, they're mating."
A week later, little Emily's more...

Dec 25
My dearest darling Edward,
What a wonderful surprise has just greeted me! That sweet partridge, in that lovely little pear-tree; what an enchanting, romantic, poetic present! Bless you, and thank you.
Your deeply loving,
Emily
Dec. 26
Beloved Edward,
The two turtle-doves arrived this morning, and are cooing away in the pear-tree as I write. I'm so touched and grateful!
With undying love, as always,
Emily
Dec. 27
My darling Edward,
You do think of the most original presents! Who ever thought of sending anybody three French hens? Do they really come all the way from France? It's a pity we have no chicken coops, but I expect we'll find some. Anyway, thank-you so much; they're lovely.
Your devoted,
Emily
Dec. 28
Dearest Edward,
What a surprise! Four calling birds arrived this morning. They are very sweet, even if they do call rather loudly - they make telephoning almost impossible - but I expect more...

Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911operator told Bubba that she would send someone outright away."Where do you live?" asked the operator.Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?"There was a long pause and finally Bubba said,"How 'bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and youpick her up there?"