Electrician Jokes / Recent Jokes

The wedding date was set and the grooms three pals- a carpenter, an electrician, and a dentist- were deciding what pranks to play on the couple on their wedding night.

The carpenter decided that he would saw the slats off their bed.

The electrician figured that wiring the bed with alternating current would give them a few chuckles.

The dentist would not tell what he had done, but wore a sly grin and swore that it would be memorable.

The wedding and reception went as planned.

A few days later, each of the groom's three friends received a letter saying the following: "Dear friends, we did not mind the bed slats being sawed. The electric shock was only a minor setback but I swear to God Almighty, I am going to kill the mother fucker that put Novocain in the K-Y Jelly."

THE teacher announced that to practice spelling, each member of the class would say what their fathers did for a living and then spell the occupation. Mary went first. "My Dad is a baker, b-a-k-e-r, and if he were here, he would give everyone a cookie." Next came Tommy. "My dad is a banker, b-a-n-k-e-r, and if he were here, he'd give each of us a quarter." Third came Jimmy. "My dad is an electrician.'' But after struggling through a number of attempts to spell the word, the teacher asked him to sit and think about it for a moment while she called on someone else. She then turned to Johnny. "My dad's a bookie, b-o-o-k-i-e," Johnny said. "And if he were here, he'd lay you 8 to 5 that Jimmy ain't never gonnaspell electrician."

It's career day at school and the teacher instructs his students each to stand up, state their parents occupation, spell it and then tell what their parent would do if they were here today.
Little Rodney stands up and says, "My father is an accountant, A-C-C-O-U-N-T-A-N-T, and if he were here today, he would help you balance your checkbook".
"Good Rodney" says the teacher, "how about you, Jimmy?'"
Jimmy stands up and stammers, "My father is an electrician, E-L-E-K-T, no, no, E-L-E-C-K-T no... L-E-C-K-... no..."
The teacher interrupts, "Never mind Jimmy, sit down, how about you Johnny?"
Johnny stands up and says, "My dad's a bookie, that's B-O-O-K-I-E, and if he were here today he'd give you ten to one odds that there's no way Jimmy's ever gonna spell electrician!"

A woman is pregnant with triplets. The first fetus turns to the other two and says, "When I get outta here and grow up, I'm gonna be a plumber."
"Why a plumber?" ask the other two.
The first replies, "Because of all the damn water in here."
"That makes sense," reply the others.
Then, the second fetus says, "When I grow up, I'm gonna be an electrician."
"Why an electrician?" the others ask.
"Because it's so damn dark in here," replies the second.
"That makes sense too," the others comment.
The third one then says, "When I grow up, I'm gonna be a hunter."
"Why a hunter?" ask the other two.
The third replies, "Because if that damn gopher sticks his head up here one more time, I'm gonna kill it!"

Q: How many experienced computer users does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Why do they have to keep changing it? Every bloody week. You'd've thought they'd have learnt by now, if it's not broken they shouldn't bugger about with it. What's that? It WAS broken this time you say? *Blush*

Q: How many PC users does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to do it, but one to check the new bulb for viruses first.

Q: How many municipal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Seven - two to administer the Civil Service examination for the Light Bulb Administrator position, the Commissioner of Public Works, who ends up hiring his brother for the position anyway, one to plow the mayor's driveway, a Summer Youth student to actually screw it in, and a Union steward to protest that its the electrician's job to screw in lightbulbs.

Q: How many fat-cat factory owners does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. The replacement more...

After an electrician finished repairing some faulty wiring in an attorney's home he handed him the the bill.
''Four hundred dollars! For an hour's work?'' cried the attorney, ''That's ridiculous! Why I'm an attorney and I don't charge that much.''
To which the electrician replied, ''Funny, when I was an attorney I didn't either!''

These three friends, a Dentist, a Carpenter, and an Electrician were sitting around trying to decide what prank to pull on a mutual friend. Their friend was getting married soon, and his good buddies just felt compelled to play some prank, as all good buddies would. After sitting around brainstorming for a while, the Electrician had a thought, "I know! I know! I can wire the bed so that when our friend and his new bride sit on it and touch one another, they'll get a good shock." The Carpenter perked up and added, "and I can rig the bed so that when they get shocked and jump apart, the bed will collapse." The Dentist just sat in silence, because he couldn't think of a thing to do. After the fortunate couple's wedding and honeymoon, the groom called his friends together for a chat. He said to them, "Well, when we sat on the bed and got a shock, it wasn't that bad. And then when we jumped apart and the bed fell in, we had a good laugh. But who's bright idea was more...