Ecstasy Jokes

There's an Italian, Frechman and an Irishman.
The Italian says, "When I've a finshed makina da love with my girlfriend I go down and gently tickle the back of her knees, she floatsa 6 inches abovea da bed in ecstasy".
The Frenchman replies, "Zat is nothing, when Ah 'ave finished making ze love with ze girlfriend Ah kiss all ze way down her body and zen Ah lick zer soles of her feet wiz mah tongue and she floats 12 inches above ze bed in pure ecstasy".
The Irishman says, "That's nothing. When I've finished shaggin me bird, I get out of bed, walk over to the window and wipe me knob on the curtain. She hits the fucking roof !!!"

The Italian says," When I've finnished a makina da love withah my wife, I go downa and gently tickle the back of her knees, I tella you, she floats 6 inches above a da bed in ecstasy." The Frenchman replies, "Zat iz nothing, when i'ava finished makein ze love wiz ze wife, Ah kiss all zee way down'er body and zen Ah lick za soles of her feet wiz mah toungh, and she floats 12 inches above ze bed in pure ecstasy." The Redneck fires off at both, "That ain't nothin'. When I finish porkin' the old lady, I git out of bed and wipe my weener on the curtains. She freakin' hits the ceilin'."

Q: How many folk-dancers does it take to change a light-bulb?
A: Just one, but they break a lot of bulbs, when they drop everything to get onto the dance-floor when they hear the introduction to a dance they want to do.

Q: How many square dancers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Four, and you have to walk them through it a few times.

Q: How many square dancers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Eight. Square dancers do everything in groups of eight.

Q: How many Techno dancers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Six, one to wear it around the neck, one to bring ecstasy and give it to the dancer to distract him, one to steal the light bulb while the dancer is distracted and dazed from ecstasy, three to distract the remaining crowd so they will not try to grab the bulb.

Q: How many second violinists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, they don't get up that high.

Q: How many sax more...

Q: How many Techno dancers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Six, one to wear it around the neck, one to bring ecstasy and give it to the dancer to distract him, one to steal the light bulb while the dancer is distracted and dazed from ecstasy, three to distract the remaining crowd so they will not try to grab the bulb.

It's time to tell the truth about Smurfs.
You see, Smurfs are a lot like other folks; they have dreams and ambitions, deep, thoughtful conversations with each other, and good and bad times.
"But," people ask, "do Smurfs have..... you know,...... *sex*?"
The answer is an emphatic and resounding YES!
And why shouldn't they? They're people, too.
What *most* people don't know is why Smurfs are blue. Well, the reason is because Smurfs only have sex once a year.
Face it: if you had sex only once a year, you'd be blue, too.
Once a year, in the Smurf village, flags and banners fly happily in the breeze, proclaiming that the day of the annual Smuckfest has arrived. Birds sing and the Sun comes out to watch, despite the weatherSmurf's direst predictions.
I guess good ol' Mr. Sun is a voyeur.
In the middle of town, Papa Smurf gives a brief speech explaining the origin of the Smuckfest; how Dr. C. Everett Koop came to the village more...