Eater Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two rednecks decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead. The first went in to see the counselor, who told him to take math, history, and logic.
"What's logic?" the first redneck asked.
The professor answered, "Let me give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?"
"I sure do."
"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the professor.
"That's real good!" said the redneck.
The professor continued, "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also own a house."
Impressed, the redneck said, "Amazing!"
"And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife."
"That's Betty Mae! This is incredible!" The redneck was catching on.
"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual," said the professor.
"You're absolutely more...

There was an Aggie, a Longhorn, and a Bug Eater. They attempted to rob a bank but got caught. They went to court and were sentenced to the electric chair. The guys operating it told them that if they survived they were free to go. The Longhorn went first. They asked him if he had any last words to say. He told them no. He pressed the button and nothing happened so he was free to go. The bug eater went next. They asked him if he had any last words to say. He said no and pressed the button. Nothing happened and he was free to go. The Aggie went next. They asked him if he had any last words. "I think if you plug the chair in it will work better."

Two friends signed up for college.

When they looked at their schedules, the first friend noticed he had Logical Reasoning as a class. Not knowing what it was, he went to the class and asked the teacher what logical reasoning was.

The teacher than proceeded to explain: "Do you have a weed eater?"

"Yes," replied the guy.

"You have a weed eater, which means you have a lawn, which means you have a house, which means you have kids, which means you have a wife, which means you're straight."

When he got out of class, he met with his friend who asked him what logical reasoning was about.

"Well," said the guy. "Do you have a weed eater?"

"No," replied the friend.

"Then you're gay!"

peter peter pumpkin eater had a wife
loved to beat her. Smacked her twice
across the head, fucked her ass and went
to bed.

The Garlic Eater by I Malone